Out of Character
by Meemster
Summary: It's all in the title. Brennan is assaulted.....BY BOOTH! Don't be fooled by the title, this story is very true to character and if you're an angst fan, then this is for you! Warning: strong language and violence. UPDATE!
1. Chapter 1

First Bones fic – please review.

Warning extremely uncharacteristic behaviour ahead, but all will be revealed in good time……………

Part 1

Bones was pissed; actually she had gone passed being pissed about twenty minutes ago, now she was furious. Booth was supposed to meet her over an hour ago and still hadn't arrived. He wasn't answering his cell phone either and with each passing minute, Bones became more angry and frustrated.

This case had been especially difficult, the remains they were working on had been submerged and then left in some kind of highly corrosive industrial cleaner, the damage to the bones had been so extensive, and had left them so fragile, that they were almost impossible to handle. But Bones had finally had a breakthrough; a small hole at the base of the spine suggested that the victim had been injected with some kind of poison, and Bones was keen to discuss this with Booth to see if he thought it maybe linked to a similar case they had worked on some months ago.

Bones hadn't seen or spoken to Booth for over a week, she'd been completely engrossed in her work, determined that the victim would find some kind of justice for her untimely death. Sitting and thinking she came to the realisation that it was probably the longest time they hadn't communicated in some way since their early days of working together. Booth was always either pestering her with constant phone calls, or calling into the lab to 'catch up'. He also been quite abrupt with her on the phone earlier, usually he was keen to hear her findings and almost over excited in his enthusiasm to move forward with a case. But today he had all but brushed her off with a quick "I'll see you later," and then hung up.

Again Bones picked up the phone and rang Booth, again no answer, just straight through to voicemail. Grunting in frustration, Bones slammed the phone down hard enough to rattle the windows.

"Whoa, sweetie what's wrong?"

Bones looked up as Angela walked into her office.

"Sorry Angela, I'm just really angry with Booth, he was supposed to be here over an hour ago to discuss the possible cause of death for the Jane Doe we have, but he's not even answering his cell or office phone," Bones replied standing up and starting to pace her office in an attempt to try and calm down.

Sensing her friend's barely suppressed rage, Angela decided now wasn't the best time for a sarcastic comment about the number of times Booth and been kept waiting for Bones when she couldn't tear herself away from her precious remains.

"Well I'm sure he has a good reason for blowing you off, it's not like him to just not turn up. He's usually like a bad penny. Actually come to think of it, where has he been this week? I can't remember the last time he left it this long to come and see you….I mean us," Angela quickly corrected her not quite so accidental slip of the tongue.

As usual the remark passed straight over Bones' head.

"I know, I was just thinking the same thing," Bones replied, now starting to get annoyed with herself for letting her anger override her common sense and consider the possible reasons why Booth wasn't there. Thinking how out of character it was for Booth, Bones started to worry. It really wasn't like Booth to not turn up, and thinking back to his response earlier, maybe he couldn't talk, what if he was in some kind of danger? But this was Booth, he was more than capable of taking care of himself, he had probably just been held up somewhere and had not heard his phone ringing.

"Listen Bren, if you're worried, why don't you call by his place and check he's ok?" Angela asked, also beginning to worry about Booth's uncharacteristic behaviour, especially knowing how important Bones' opinion of him was, even though he'd be far too pig headed to ever admit it.

"No I'm sure that's not necessary, he's probably just too busy to answer his phone and forgot about meeting with me," even as she was saying the words Bones wondered whether she was trying to reassure herself or Angela. "Besides Booth's perfectly capable of looking after himself, he doesn't need me checking up on him."

"I'm sure he won't mind sweetie, he'd be happy to see you," he always is, Angela added wordlessly.

"No it's fine Angela, I'm not his mother. I'll just try again tomorrow."

"Ok Bren, whatever you think is best, I just hope he's ok," Angela added, knowing her best friend would have to satisfy her curiosity and check on Booth's whereabouts, if for no other reason than blowing off some steam for letting her down.

Watching Angela walk away, Bones grabbed her purse and headed out of the lab, she had to check Booth was ok, and if he was then he better have a damned good reason for not showing up.

Keys in hand, Bones headed for her car.

Want to know what's up with Booth? Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews (more please), hope this doesn't disappoint!**

**Warning: violence and strong language ahead, I promise it will be explained in later chapters.**

Part 2

Pulling up outside Booth's place, Temperance didn't know whether she should feel relieved or annoyed to see his SUV parked outside. She once again debated with herself as to whether she should carry on and talk to him, he must be home and therefore probably ok, but then she started to feel angry again, just what the hell was he playing at not even bothering to call and let her know he couldn't make their meeting. Again Bones wondered at Booth's uncharacteristic behaviour, maybe he **was** hurt?

"Oh for goodness sake Temperance, pull yourself together and go and find out," Bones stated out loud then grabbed her purse, now focussed on a course of action.

Bones had only visited Booth's apartment once before, she tried to ignore the buzz of nervous anticipation she felt and tried to focus instead on the anger she had felt towards Booth earlier. After knocking on the door several times, Bones was once again beginning to worry, however just as she was about to try Booth's cell again, the door finally opened. Bones opened her mouth, about to let rip with a string of abuse but stopped short as she was totally unprepared for the sight that appeared before her.

"Bones, hi, sorry I was in the shower, come in," Booth greeted, flashing Bones his most dazzling charm smile and opening the door wider to allow her to pass.

Booth was dressed in nothing but a pair of half fastened jeans, his hair was still damp and sticking up, and his chest was glistening having obviously rushed to the door before drying off. Bones had to swallow back the unexpected and somewhat unwanted rush of lust and desire that suddenly assaulted her senses; obviously she was aware that Booth was an attractive man and even though she refused to allow herself to dwell on it, she couldn't deny his sex appeal, but usually she was in full control of her feelings and response to his presence – until now. Again Bones had to remind herself that she was angry with him and focus on that, not the fact that he smelled so good as she walked past him and into the apartment.

"You ok Bones?" Booth asked, his concern only serving to further confuse Bones considering his thoughtlessness earlier.

"No I'm not Booth, where the hell were you today?" Bones replied, looking him straight in the eye to avoid letting her gaze linger on his well defined pectoral and abdominal muscles.

"You want a beer?" Booth asked, totally ignoring Bones question and seemingly oblivious to her obvious annoyance.

"What?" Bones responded incredulously.

"A beer Bones, do you want one?" Booth asked again, the charm smile never leaving his face.

Now Bones didn't have to remember the anger she felt earlier, it was there again, instantly.

"No Booth I don't want a beer, I want to know why you weren't at our meeting today," Bones was shouting now, barely keeping hold of her rage in light of the fact that Booth was obviously perfectly fine when she had been needlessly worrying about him, "and I want to know why you didn't even have the courtesy to let me know you weren't coming."

Booth remained totally unaffected by her outburst, the slightly condescending smirk on his face only serving to infuriate Bones further.

"Come on Bones chill, what's the big deal? We can always catch up tomorrow. Besides something important came up."

"What the hell was so important you couldn't pick up the phone and let me know Booth? Rushing home to take a shower?"

Booth chuckled, "no Bones not the shower. A couple of the guys I was in the academy with are in town, they rang and asked me to meet them for a night of beer, craps and women, their words not mine," Booth answered. "So if you'll excuse me, I have to get dressed, most casinos have a stricter dress code than just jeans."

Bones response was to do a great impression of a fish out of water, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, not to mention the fact that Booth was dismissing her………again!

"Booth we are working on a case in case you've forgotten, a very important and frustrating case, but today I finally have a break through and you ignore that in favour of a night of gambling, drinking and womanising? What is your problem, you have a gambling addiction and I thought you were seeing Cam, why are you doing this?"

"Come on Bones, it's the guys!" Booth replied as though that answer was a perfect explanation for Bones unreasonable demands. "It's fun, come on Bones you remember fun don't you? Oops sorry, forgot who I was taking to, your idea of fun is staring at dead bodies for hours on end."

Taking a step forward, Booth leaned towards Bones, invading her space and dropping his voice to a low and slightly menacing tone.

"Well believe it or not, most normal human beings enjoy spending time with friends but I guess you don't have many of those either do you? You know what Bones, it maybe a good idea for you to join the human race and have a little fun of your own, it'd do you good and might even help to change that image you have of being a cold hearted, stuck up bitch."

Bones blinked back the tears of pain Booth's words brought to her eyes, the shock of hearing such cruel words come from his lips when he was the person she trusted more than anyone was too much for her to bare, pushing past him she was caught off guard when he grabbed her wrist and moved to block her path.

"Come on Bones I was just kidding; besides you must have some idea of what people say about you behind your back?" Booth asked, softening his tone as though that would lessen the blow of his harsh words.

"Let go of me Booth, I'm leaving," Bones answered, desperate to put some distance between them and try to make sense of what was happening.

Looking down to where his hand clasped Bones wrist, Booth relaxed his grip and slowly ran his hand up Bones arm to her shoulder then back again in a manner that would be soothing in most other circumstances. However this time it just served to make Bones feel more uncomfortable and confused.

"I thought you liked me touching you Bones, you don't pull away like you used to. Come on admit it, you like it," stepping forward Booth again invaded her personal space, pressing his body against hers and daring her to move away, "you like me too don't you. Go on Bones admit it, I dare you."

Refusing to be intimidated, Tempe didn't move but responded in icy tones, "Booth get off me, NOW."

Stepping back Booth smirked, "I should have known, the great Temperance Brennan who can write such steamy sex scenes in her novels is in reality, a frigid, hard faced, cock-tease."

Bones didn't even think about it, her body just reacted and the slap was hard enough to send pain shooting up her arm. "Fuck you Booth," she spat through clenched teeth.

It was then that Booth did the unthinkable, and hit her back, hard. Hard enough to send Tempe stumbling backwards into the wall. She didn't try to defend herself so unexpected was the blow, the sudden pain of her split lip and bruised jaw was incomparable to the shock and pain that flooded through her at the realisation that this man, who she trusted not only with her life but also her heart and soul, had just shattered her world into a thousand pieces. Looking up through a haze of tears, Temperance felt an emotion she never believed Booth could evoke in her, fear. He was looking at her not with remorse or guilt, but something totally unexpected, lust.

Before Bones had even recovered from the shock of Booth hitting her, he leapt towards her and pinned her to the wall, his hands held her wrists against her body, his lips and teeth on her neck and his hard body crushing the air from her lungs.

Starting to panic, Bones realised she couldn't push him off, his upper body strength was far greater than hers, and though she was an expert in many forms of self defence, Booth was as well, and knew exactly how to stop her from gaining any opportunity to get away.

So Tempe chose the only defence she could think of. She gave in, and as Booth moved to fiercely kiss her mouth, she responded with equal ferocity and forced her body against all its natural instincts, to relax in the hope that Booth would do the same.

It worked, after a minute or two of pretence at enjoying herself, Bones felt Booth start to release his hold on her wrists, his hands sliding up to grasp her hips, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her lower back. Summoning up all her fear, pain and shock, Bones channelled it into raising her knee and slamming it with all her strength into his crotch.

The effect was immediate, with a roar of pain Booth fell to floor curling into a ball, his hands clenched between his thighs.

On legs that threatened to collapse from under her, Temperance ran for the door.

**A/N**

**I know Bones has defended herself from worse attacks before, but I hope I conveyed the fact that her shock at Booth's violence towards her affected her ability to react as she usually would.**

**Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Thanks so much to all those who have reviewed, some of you really made me laugh and all of you are the greatest.**

**Just a short update, but I promise another chapter tomorrow.**

Part 3

Staggering to her car Temperance fumbled for her keys with shaking hands and floored the accelerator, roaring away as fast as the sleek Mercedes could manage; which was fast enough to bring Bones to her senses as she could barely see through the blinding tears flooding her eyes. Screeching to halt less than two blocks later, Bones gave in to her body's reaction to the absolute horror of what had just happened. Dropping her head against the steering wheel, she completely broke down. Violent tremors engulfed her, as painful sobs tore from her throat; for the first time since her parent's disappearance Temperance was unable to maintain the tight hold she usually held on her emotions and she cried out her pain and terror with a ferocity that further fuelled her fear. Recognising the symptoms of severe shock in herself, Bones wasn't surprised when she had to throw open her car door as the meagre contents of her stomach made a rapid exit. Leaning over Bones continued to retch painfully, long after her stomach was empty.

Eventually her stomach settled enough to allow her to sit back and drag huge gulps of air into her aching lungs, her heart pounding brutally in her chest. After several long minutes Tempe started to calm down, her heart rate steadying and her breathing slowing down. Her brain however had no such relief; it was desperately trying to process the previous events. Bones still couldn't believe Booth had hit her, however that almost paled in comparison when the realisation that she had suffered a sexual assault, **by Booth**, finally sank in.

Tempe could only remember feeling so vulnerable and confused once before, again this was the time just after her parents disappeared. Not long after that terrible event she built a high and impenetrable wall around not only her heart, but her mind and soul. A wall that she had defended fiercely ever since, refusing to allow anyone access. The only person who had ever come close was Angela, Tempe trusted her without reserve, knowing that her friend would never knowingly do anything to hurt her, but still she held her emotions in check, never wanting to appear weak or vulnerable. Russ had recently started to regain her trust, but that had once again been shattered following his recent disappearance with her father. An event that had been painful in the extreme but had been made bearable due to Booth's caring and understanding. She trusted him dammit, he had slowly chipped away at her defences, finding the almost invisible chinks in her armour until she unconsciously knew she could depend on him to never let her down.

Once more tears spilled down her cheeks as Bones again felt the pain and despair of a trust betrayed. Swiping impatiently at her face, she started the car and headed for the only person she could think of to turn to.

**Please review, it makes my day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Disclaimer - thought I'd better do this as I forgot earlier, and this goes for Chapters 1 – 3 as well as the rest of the story: I do not own Bones or any of its characters, if I did I'd be rich but I'm not, so I don't!**

**Thanks so much for all your fab reviews, they really inspire me, you're the best, all of you xx**

Part 4

For the first time in several weeks, Angela had arrived home early. Since Brennan had chosen to leave the lab without a word as to where she was going, as if Angela didn't know, she and Jack had taken advantage of the situation and left before six, she couldn't remember the last time that had happened. Angela smiled as she heard Jack singing totally off key in the shower, although their relationship was its infancy and they still found working together a little weird, when they were at home they were totally relaxed in each others company. Angela loved spending time with Jack; he had a sharp wit that often disguised his huge heart and protective streak. She was still trying to comprehend the almost unimaginable wealth he had inherited, coming herself from a family that had worked hard for all it had achieved. For this reason the majority of the time they spent together was in Angela's small but cosy apartment.

As she was contemplating the somewhat paltry contents of her refrigerator, Angela pondered over the reason for Brennan's early departure from the lab. Yes, it was uncharacteristic for Booth to miss their meeting, but it wasn't really that big of a deal, however Bren was really pissed. Angela smiled as she recalled the many heated spats between Booth and Brennan, the chemistry between the two of them could power a small city. Angela wondered when all that sexual tension would reach its peak, she was just happy that Booth cared enough for Brennan to understand how hard it was for her to open up and did not push their relationship faster than she was comfortable with.

Brennan had changed in the time she had been working with Booth, she was happier, more relaxed and much more comfortable around people. Even though Booth was seeing Cam, something that made Angela's skin crawl, she still held out the hope that Bren and the gorgeous FBI agent would eventually hook up. If two people were ever made for each other, it was those, she knew it and Cam probably did too. A thought that made Angela **very **happy indeed!

Giving up on the fridge, Angela picked up the menu from a local Thai restaurant. Glancing through it she looked up in surprise at a knock on the door. Wondering who it could be; Angela gasped in shock as she opened the door. Brennan stood in the door way, but her appearance was shockingly different from when she left the lab just a short time ago. Dried blood was smeared across her chin from her torn and battered lip, and an ugly, rapidly darkening bruise spread from her left cheekbone down her face to under her jaw, this was in stark and frightening contrast to the deathly pallor of her skin. Her clothing was in disarray and the sleeve of her jacket was torn at the cuff. But what scared Angela more than anything were Brennan's eyes, usually so vibrant, lively and expressive, they were now blank and wide with shock. Whatever had happened had chased away the spark that characterised the brilliant doctor.

Shaking herself from her silent observation of her friend, Angela found her voice.

"Oh my God Bren, what happened?" she asked, reaching out and gently pulling Bones into the apartment. Feeling the tension under her fingers, Angela guided Bones to the sofa, her concern deepening as Bren neither spoke nor seemed capable of responding.

Sitting next to her, Angela carefully took Bones shaking hand in hers and tried again to talk to her.

"Bren sweetie, tell me what happened, it's ok you're safe now."

At that moment Jack appeared from the bedroom, dressed in sweats and rubbing a towel through his hair.

"Hey Ang, have you decided what we're going to eat yet?" Looking up Hodgins froze, the towel falling to the floor.

Looking rapidly from Angela to Temperance and back again he asked the question that was still hanging in the air.

"What happened? Dr Brennan are you alright?" Jack mentally slapped himself for asking such an obtuse question, of course she wasn't alright.

At a loss as to how to comfort her friend, Angela tried again.

"Bren please, speak to me, you're scaring me."

This time Tempe responded, although so quietly Angela had to lean closer to catch her words.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered.

"About what sweetie," Angela asked, her fear increasing at Tempe's near catatonic state.

Again Bones did not respond.

Seizing on course of action Angela stood and crossed the room, grabbing her cell from the kitchen counter she turned to Jack, "I'm calling Booth."

"**NO," **Bones shouted leaping to her feet, the ferocity and volume of her voice startling Angela so much she dropped the phone. Relieved that Bren had finally come to life, Angela was then shocked to see fear in her eyes.

"What………why sweetie, why don't you want me to call Booth?"

"It was him," Bones answered.

"What was him sweetie, I don't understand, what do you mean?" Angela asked, her confusion shared by Hodgins who shook his head in bewilderment.

"It was Booth, he did it, he attacked me," Tempe stated, her voice fracturing like the most brittle of bones.

A shocked silence invaded the room and time seemed to grind to a halt.

**A/N**

**Sorry but had to throw a cliff-hanger in somewhere.**

**Explanations coming soon, I promise.**

**Please review and make my day.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **

**Thanks SO MUCH you guys for all your reviews, they really motivate me to update quickly. **

Part 5

Ok, what just happened, Angela thought? Did Bren just say that Booth had attacked her? Had they all just slipped into a parallel universe? Should someone call Mulder and Scully? Looking at Hodgins, she saw that he too was immobilized with shock, his intense blue eyes wide with incomprehension. So, she had heard right after all.

"Sweetie, what do you mean Booth attacked you? He cares about you, why would he do such a thing?" Angela asked; she could have believed it more easily if Brennan had just told her she had been abducted by aliens and was now pregnant with a half human, half alien baby. But the evidence was there, Angela had seen Brennan face violence before, but she had **never **seen her this distraught. Believing that her friend must be telling the truth, Angela could feel the bile start to rise in her throat.

"You don't believe me?" Bones asked, the fear in her eyes intensifying, Angela must believe her, she had no one else to turn to.

"No sweetie, I believe you. I'm just having a hard time taking it in."

Angela watched the relief flood back through her friend, her legs all but giving out on her as she collapsed back onto the sofa. Leaning forward Tempe's head fell into her hands, her despair and confusion apparent. It was at that moment that Angela noticed something else, Bren's delicate wrists were ringed with more bruises, the livid marks now highly visible on her pale skin. Angela felt the first stirrings of fear as another far more disturbing thought occurred to her.

Once more taking the seat next to her distressed friend, Angela gently pulled her hands from her face and examined the bruises.

"Bren please, just tell me what happened."

Bones again felt as though she was going to be sick as she saw the ugly bruises surrounding her wrists for the first time, and the memory of how they got there came flooding back. Forcing herself to control her emotions, she recounted the story in her best analytical tone, as though reading from one of her files.

Listening to Brennan's emotionless recollection of the event, Angela again had to force herself not to respond with disbelief. How could Booth do such a thing, he was Bren's protector, the first person Angela believed could start to repair some of the damage Bren's heart had suffered in her childhood. Often Angela had watched Booth around 'his Bones', she had seen straight through his cocky, self-assured image to a man who she was certain was slowly falling in love with her best friend. Sometimes when Bren was completely engrossed in her work, she would catch him just watching her, the admiration and adoration in his eyes quickly hidden when she would look up and catch him staring. Angela also knew Bren well enough to know how much Booth meant to her, the way she would come alive when he burst into the lab full of energy and infectious enthusiasm; the fact that she would work until exhaustion forced her to stop, just to give him something new on a case. Her eyes pricked with tears as she realised the damage that had once again been inflicted on her friend's heart and soul, Bren had stopped talking now but her eyes were dry, her back ramrod straight, as though she had just given evidence in court. Angela's heart broke as she realised that all the walls that Booth's patience and understanding had slowly started to erode from her friends heart, were now back stronger than ever before and thicker than the most impenetrable fortress.

"I'm going to kill him," Hodgins hissed, the venom in his voice convincing Angela of his intent.

"You can't do that Jack," Angela reasoned, trying not to agree with Jack as right now she would have joined the queue. "We need to call the police, we're talking about sexual assault here, he should be arrested."

"He'll lose his job," Bones added, still unable to process the severity of Booth's actions.

"His job! Dr Brennan no offence but who gives a fuck about his job? What if he does this again? You said he was going out drinking tonight, what if some other poor woman has the same thing happen to her, only she isn't able to get away?"

Shit, Bones hadn't thought about that, what if Booth did attack someone else, she couldn't live with herself knowing she may have been able to prevent it. But again this was Booth they were talking about, she still couldn't believe he had hurt her, it was as though she was living through a terrible nightmare and would soon wake up, her heart pounding with shock but then relief at realising it hadn't really happened. Again Bones' mind played over the events of earlier, it was as though she were watching a movie, the actors not her and Booth but instead nameless characters in some cheap movie where realism was unimportant. However the pain as she swallowed reminded her just how real it was, Booth had hit her, then forced himself on her, she shuddered as her mind unwillingly invented a scenario of what may have happened if she hadn't escaped.

"Ang, can I have a glass of water and some Advil please," Brennan asked, the pain in her jaw and lip now competing with the pain building behind her eyes.

"Oh course sweetie, I'm sorry. Are you sure you don't want something stronger?"

Bones shook her head as Hodgins headed for the kitchen glad to be able to do something. He was torn between wanting to rip Booth's head from his shoulders, whilst also wanting an explanation for his bizarre and shocking behaviour. Although he and Booth had almost come to blows a couple of times, Booth was almost **over **protective when it came to Dr Brennan. Jack honestly believed that Booth would give his life it meant keeping her safe. Just what the hell was going on?

"What do you want us to do sweetie?" Angela asked Bones, not wanting to add to her vulnerability by making the decision for her.

"Maybe you and Hodgins could go and speak to him. There has to be a logical explanation for his actions," Bones replied, turning to science as her rock of dependency.

"Are you sure sweetie, maybe we should call the police."

"Please Angela, go to his place, see what he has to say. You can always call the police then," Bones pleaded, her previous loyalty to Booth still trying to reason his actions.

"Ok if that's what you want, but I can't possibly justify what he did. I love you so don't expect me to understand this, there's no justifiable reason."

"Thanks Ang," Bones replied, managing a smile for her best friend.

At that moment Jack returned and handed the water and medication to Bones.

"So what are we going to do?" he asked.

"You and I are going to go and talk to Booth, and we're both going to resist the temptation to rip his balls off," Angela replied rising to her feet.

"Ok, but don't expect me to believe any attempt that bastard gives to try and worm his way out of this," Jack added his anger still simmering below the surface of his controlled façade.

"Why don't you stay here sweetie, help yourself to anything you need. We'll be back soon I promise," Angela would have preferred to stay and take care of her friend but chose instead to respect her wishes and speak to Booth.

Reaching to give Bren a quick hug, Angela was surprised when Bren instead clung to her and buried her head in her shoulder. Usually Tempe kept everyone at arms length, even her, although Zack had told her about the uncharacteristic hug he had received from Brennan when he gained his doctorate. Maybe there was hope after all and Bren could recover from this. Squeezing tightly Angela vowed to do whatever it took to make sure Bren did not withdraw and close in on herself.

"It's gonna be ok sweetie, I promise," she whispered, sending up a silent prayer that she was right.

As Angela and Hodgins left, Bones headed for the bathroom. Reaching for a face cloth she examined her reflection in the mirror, wiping gingerly at the blood stain on her chin she had to suddenly grasp the sink as a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over her. She still had trouble comprehending the fact that it was Booth who had inflicted these injuries on her, she had suffered far worse in the past, hell she'd been tortured before, but these bruises were much more painful to bear. The scars from these would never go away.

After cleaning up Bones made herself a cup of tea, relieved that the Advil were beginning to take effect. Picking up the remote she flicked on the TV, desperate to have a distraction from her brain's never ending analytical musings. A flicker of pain jolted her as she recalled the number of times Booth had teased her about not having a TV, what had happened to her friendly, caring partner?

After watching ten minutes of a mildly amusing sitcom about a group of friends living in New York, Bones jumped as her cell phone rang harshly.

"Brennan," she answered in her usual fashion.

"Sweetie it's me," Angela's voice trembled with emotion as she tried to suppress her fear. "When we arrived at the apartment the door was open so we went straight in. Bren, Booth's unconscious, we can't wake him up and he's barely breathing, I've just called an ambulance."

Bones was on her feet and out the door in seconds.

**A/N**

**Explanations in the next chapter, watch this space!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Hey everyone, so sorry for the gap in updates, life got a bit hectic for a while!!**

**Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate the time every one of you takes to write them.**

**Explanations galore, read on…………**

* * *

Part 6

Bones arrived at the hospital at the same time as the ambulance joining Angela and Jack who had followed behind. No one spoke as they watched Booth's lifeless body wheeled swiftly into the emergency room, rushing to follow, their path was soon obstructed by a rather stern looking nurse.

"Sorry you can't go in there," she stated obviously, "please go to the front desk and complete the registration documents." With no further comment, she turned and disappeared through the doors. Tempe craned her neck for a glimpse of Booth but he was no where to be seen.

For several seconds Tempe, Angela and Jack stood in shocked silence.

Finally Bones asked, "what happened?"

Angela turned to her, "I don't know, when we got to Booth's place the door was open, we went inside and he was just lying there on the floor, we both tried to wake him but he was completely out of it."

Listening to Angela, Tempe was initially concerned that she may have been the cause of Booth's cataleptic state; but then her medical expertise negated her thoughts, she had only slapped him, and although she had hit Booth hard in the crotch and she knew extreme pain could cause unconsciousness, he would have recovered quickly. This must be something more serious she thought, her diagnostic brain already searching for possible explanations.

"I'll go and complete the paperwork," Angela stated, glad to have a distraction. The shock of finding Booth like that when she had gone there ready for a fight – literally; had left her completely exhausted and she needed time to regroup.

Gently guiding Bones to the waiting area, Jack struggled to find any words of support. What was there to say? Just moments earlier Booth had been public enemy number one, now he was once again causing pain and distress, although for a completely different reason. Hodgins was concerned however that he just wanted Booth to be ok so he could kick his ass for what he did to Bones.

"Can I get you anything Dr Brennan?" he asked.

"No, thank you Hodgins," she replied quietly.

Jack was worried, he didn't know how to offer any comfort, looking at Bones he couldn't imagine the confusion she must be feeling.

Sitting next to her hoping that his presence may at least let her know she wasn't alone, Jack willed Angela to return quickly knowing she would be a greater comfort to their friend.

Several minutes passed before Bones unexpectedly broke the silence, "someone should call Cam," she stated, "just tell her about Booth, don't tell her……………anything else," she added haltingly.

"Er, yeah I suppose you're right. I'll do it now." Not really wanting to, Jack headed out of the hospital to make the call, the relationship between Booth and their boss was still a source of tension in the lab; while Brennan fixed on the fact that it was none of their business, Angela couldn't resist any opportunity to voice her annoyance that they were together.

Sitting alone Bones was numb, her battered psyche no longer able to process the emotional turmoil of the day's events. Usually so adept at hiding her emotions even from herself, she felt overwhelmed by the constant barrage of changing feelings she had experience throughout this seemingly endless day. The brilliant scientist part of her was having difficulty in understanding how she could still be so angry with Booth, yet so worried about him at the same time. Choosing the tactic that Tempe had reverted to many times in her life when she felt out of control, her brain acted for her and closed itself off from anything else or anyone else who could cause her pain. The shutters closed and the doors were firmly bolted and reinforced with locks forged of the strongest iron. If Tempe didn't know how to cope with her emotions, then she would chose not to feel anything at all.

Retuning to Bones, Angela sat down and took her hand, deeply concerned about how her friend was surviving the day's ordeal.

"How you holding up sweetie," she asked, not for a second expecting an honest answer.

"I'm fine," Bones replied, although her demeanour was totally to the contrary. Looking at her Angela could see the lines of stress around her eyes, Brennan's jaw muscles were tightly clenched, her eyes flat and unfocussed, and Angela could feel the rigid tension rolling off her body. The bruise on Tempe's face was already darkening to purple and spreading up her cheek, her distinctive beauty emphasising the shocking contrast of the ugly reminder of Booth's attack.

"Bren as we're already here, why don't you get checked out yourself? That bruise is really nasty and I think your lip may need a stitch or two. Come on, I'll come with you," Angela asked.

"It's ok Angela, my lip will heal and if I had a fractured mandible I would know. Besides I want to wait here for information about Booth."

Returning to their small group, Jack reported his conversation, "I spoke to Dr Saroyan, she's on her way."

Angela nodded, acknowledging his words, obviously Cam had a right to be there but Angela wasn't looking forward to explaining Bren's appearance to her. God could this day get any more complicated?

"I also spoke to Cullen, I didn't mention what he did to you Dr Brennan, I thought you may want to speak to him about it yourself, he is going to call Rebecca and fill her in though," Jack added.

"Poor Rebecca," Angela whispered, "what will she tell Parker?"

The question hung unanswered in the air, as the long wait for news of Booth's condition continued.

* * *

Checking her watch for the seemingly thousandth time, Angela stood and stretched the tense muscles of her back and neck. Considering the amount of time most people sat in hospital waiting rooms, you would think they could supply more comfortable chairs, she mused.

"Anyone want another coffee?" she asked, even though the caffeine coursing through her veins was making her more restless.

Shaking their heads, Hodgins and Bones both turned to Cam who nodded her agreement. She had joined the vigil earlier and when a question to Bones about her appearance had not yielded an answer, she had turned to Angela who just shrugged and asked her to leave it for now. Deciding now might not be the best time to push, Cam silently agreed to wait for an explanation.

Just as Angela was about to make her familiar journey to the vending machines, she noticed the receptionist pointing in their direction as a doctor headed towards them.

In an instant everyone jumped to their feet and rushed to meet her.

"Are you the family of Seeley Booth?" the doctor asked.

An awkward silence followed until Cam answered for everyone.

"Yes we are Dr………," checking the doctor's name badge she continued, "Michaels, how is he?"

Glancing at Bones, Angela could see right through her calm exterior, so far she had been the epitome of self control but taking her hand, Angela could once again feel the tremors she was unable to restrain.

"When we first admitted Agent Booth a head injury was suspected as he had a small contusion on his scalp, an M.R.I. scan showed the existence of a haematoma in his frontal lobe, it appears that he has a small bleed that has continued until it caused significant pressure, enough cause him to lose consciousness," Dr Michaels explained, "does anybody know whether Agent Booth has suffered a recent head trauma?"

The blank and confused looks she received were answer enough.

"Well, Agent Booth is currently being prepared for surgery to remove the clot and stop the bleeding," she added.

Several stunned faces stared back at Dr Michaels, but unfortunately it wasn't a new experience for her. Working in the E.R. frequently involved delivering difficult news to the families and friends of patients, but that didn't make it any easier.

"How could we have not known about this?" Dr Saroyan asked.

"Symptoms can be difficult to detect," Dr Michaels explained, "in Agent Booth's case, due to the location of the injury, they may have included inability to concentrate or retain information, maybe a lack of inhibitions. Has he exhibited any uncharacteristic behaviour recently?"

The impact of the question was immediate, both Angela and Tempe gasped audibly and Jack jerked hard as though slapped. Cam however, continued to look confused, she had seen little of Booth recently, she had been busy with work and Booth hadn't been in the lab lately, however on reflection his absence **was **unusual, she had just been too distracted to notice.

"I take it that's a yes?" Dr Michaels asked for clarification.

"Agent Booth has displayed some extremely irregular behaviour today," Bones explained cryptically, unwillingly to explain further.

Sensing the discord her question had unwittingly caused and making a possible connection between her words and the bruising to Brennan's face, Dr Michaels decided the conversation may need to continue somewhere more private.

"Is Booth going be ok?" Angela asked, "I mean will he be the old Booth he was before after the operation?"

"It's difficult to say at this point but obviously there is always an element of risk with any kind of surgery, especially that on the brain," Dr Michaels replied, we don't know whether the pressure on his brain has caused any permanent damage. There is the possibility though that he may face some amnesia, or the change in his personality could be permanent. We won't know anything until he recovers from surgery."

"Are there any other questions?" Dr Michaels added.

Checking for a response from her colleagues, Cam replied, "no, thank you doctor."

"Well I suggest you all go home and get some rest. Agent Booth will be in surgery for several hours and then moved to I.C.U. If you leave your details with the front desk they will contact you if there are any problems."

"Ok thanks Doc," Angela replied on her way to the desk. Glancing at Bones, the pain in her eyes was once again clear. Angela was fairly sure that Bren would forgive Booth immediately now there was a medical explanation for his behaviour. The question was, would Booth ever forgive himself and could their relationship ever recover?

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**A/N**

**The medical info in this chapter is only as accurate as I could glean from the internet.**

**Hope this chapter was ok, it didn't flow as easily as the others.**

**I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to update. The blue screen of death has popped up on my laptop a few times, so it's off to the PC doc. Hopefully it won't be more than a couple of days. But please review, I'll be checking on my PC at work – even though I'm not supposed to!! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Sooooooo sorry for the long wait for an update, the problem with my laptop was terminal, the entire hard disc failed and I had to get a new one etc.etc. Complete nightmare!**

**Thanks to all who have reviewed, you're the best ;-)**

**This is just a short one to let you know I'm back and will be updating regularly.  
**

* * *

**Two weeks later. **

Consciousness returned with a mixture of pain and confusion. Without moving or opening his eyes, Booth took stock of what he could. He was lying on his back on a bed that was far too uncomfortable to be his own, his head hurt like hell and his mouth felt so furry he almost wanted to shave his tongue. His body felt both numb and sore, as though made of lead; and try as he might, opening his eyes required far too much effort.

Desperately trying to recall where he was and how he got there, Booth became aware of the tube under his nose feeding a steady stream of sweet oxygen into his lungs, so obviously he was in a hospital bed; lifting his hand to try and scratch his nose, Booth also realised he had a monitor clamped on the tip of his left index finger and a drip in the back of his right hand. The most confusing aspect of his awakening was the feeling of wearing a hat, his head felt rather hot and itchy, obviously he'd had a bump on the head, must have been a hell of a bump, Booth thought, if the jackhammer between his eyes was anything to go by.

Booth was unfortunately well accustomed to the feeling of waking up in a hospital bed, usually with a hazy recollection of how he had come to be there. This time however, the confusion of having no memory of what had happened was starting to worry him, trying to open his eyes to search for a familiar face to answer his questions Booth fought a rising panic as his eyelids refused to cooperate. Trying again, he was rewarded with a slight fluttering, barely enough to let any light in, but certainly more than enough to intensify the already searing pain in his head.

Peering down at his immobile body, Booth noticed the familiar and blessed call button close to his right hand, summoning his rapidly depleting strength he managed to grab the device, and his efforts were quickly rewarded by the sound of footsteps and the hazy outline of a figure leaning over him.

"Agent Booth, glad to have you back with us. My name is Nurse Owens, but just call me Sam, I've been taking care of you the last couple of weeks."

Couple of weeks? Booth thought incredulously, "what happened?" he croaked, his voice scratchy and hoarse.

"The doctor will be here to see you shortly, she'll explain everything," Sam replied in an annoyingly cheerful tone whilst simultaneously checking his pulse, "how about I get you some ice chips to ease your throat?"

Without waiting for a response she turned and left the room, leaving Booth fighting to stay awake. His body's quest for sleep was not yet able to override his desire to discover what had happened, although if the doctor didn't arrive soon he was sure his need for rest would win out.

A short time later Nurse Owens arrived with her precious cargo, closely followed by another woman who Booth was sure would be very attractive if his eyes could just focus on her.

"Hello Agent Booth my name is Doctor Michaels, I have been your physician during your stay with us," she began, "I'm sure you have lots of questions but I'll try to save your energy and answer most of them straight away."

Booth lay still and listened to the doc's proficient description of the last two weeks of his life. It was hard to take in, especially as the events leading up to his hospitalisation were still hovering on the edges of his patchy memory. He was relieved to here he was recovering well and shouldn't have any long term problems, but he was still left with the feeling that he had forgotten something very important. His attention was quickly returned to the doctor when he realised she was asking him a question.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" he managed to whisper, wishing the nurse would just hand over the damned ice.

"I asked whether you could remember banging your head, you had a small contusion on your skull at the sight of the haemorrhage."

Sensing his hesitation at answering, Sam helped him take a couple of sips of the rapidly melting ice, the water tasting far sweeter to Booth than even a cold beer on a hot day. Taking a couple of minutes to think Booth flashed back to something that had happened almost a month ago.

"Yeah I did," he replied, his voice already stronger, "although it was a few weeks ago. I was chasing a suspect and made such a rookie mistake I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. He ran down an alley and hid in a doorway, I was running past when he whacked me across the head with a plank of wood. He didn't even hit me that hard but I think there must have been a nail or something in the wood cos it hurt like hell."

"Well that's probably what caused it, always safer to get these things checked out just in case," Doctor Michaels stated in a somewhat parental manner. "It doesn't always need to be a heavy blow to cause some damage, just remember that in future. Now get some rest, you've still got some healing to do," she added, then turned and followed Nurse Owens out of the room.

"Ok doc," Booth said, his eyes starting to droop, the short conversation had exhausted him and his body knew its' ability to heal was much more adept when sleeping.

However just as he was dropping over the edge, a sudden and terrifying vision flashed into his mind: Bones standing before him, blood seeping from a savage tear on her lower lip, her stance defeated and fearful; her eyes usually so bright and fiery, were brimming with tears and flooded with shock and fear. But by far the most shocking aspect of his vision was the fact that she was looking directly at **him.**

Instantly Booth was wide awake, his heart slamming hard enough to trigger an alarm on the monitor.

"What the hell was that?" he cried out to the empty room, although all his instincts screamed that he probably didn't want to know.

* * *

**  
A/N**

**Like I said just a short one, will update soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**Hi everyone, thanks for the reviews, it's good to know you are still enjoying the story. I was a bit worried after such a long break.**

**Back on track now though!**

* * *

**Part 8**

A full day passed before Booth woke again, but this time he was feeling much better. The pain in his head had lessened considerably and he had regained enough strength to feel much clearer headed. A male nurse had visited to remove the drip in his hand and redress the wound on his head; the itchy bandages had gone leaving a small dressing and a rather large patch of fussy hair re-growth. He'd also had to endure the rather humiliating process of having his catheter removed, as well as the embarrassment he had felt it had also been quite painful. Booth had noticed the fading bruises on his groin but had been too self-conscious to ask the nurse how they got there, hopefully the doc would fill him in later.

So far he hadn't experienced any more flashbacks although his memory immediately prior to the operation was still out of reach. The vision of Bones he had experienced had shaken him, he didn't understand where it had come from, but it had left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Thinking of Bones, Booth wondered why she hadn't been by to visit, probably had her head buried in her work, completely absorbed and unaware of the world around her. Booth had tried to ignore the fact that she hadn't yet been to see him, but couldn't help but feel a little hurt at her apparent disinterest. Nurse Owens had called in earlier with several messages for him: Dr Michaels would be here later to check on his progress; his son Parker would be able to visit in a couple of days but had sent another drawing to go with the gallery of previous images already decorating the walls of his room; Parker's mother sent her best wishes; his boss Cullen was glad to hear he was doing well and would visit tomorrow; and finally a Miss Montenegro would call by later today to see him.

However there was no message from either Bones or Cam, and Booth chose not to dwell on the fact that he was more troubled by the lack of communication from the former rather than the latter. His relationship with Cam was one of convenience and familiarity, his brief indiscretion with Rebecca had been for similar reasons, but far more complicated with Parker as part of the equation. Booth hoped Cam felt the same way but recently he had the feeling that she wanted more from him, something he couldn't give her, a commitment to something more serious. It had been the same last time they had entered into a relationship together, and Booth knew he should end it once again but the effort required to do so was too great, so he kept putting it off.

His musings were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Booth responded hoping it would be his partner's face who greeted him, he was however disappointed when Angela entered.

The usually cheerful artist looked pensive and reserved and Booth immediately grew more concerned, his previous unease increasing.

"Hi Booth, how're you feeling?" Angela asked quietly.

"Ok I guess," he replied, "apart from a bit of a sore head," he added with a smile. He didn't know why but his unease had turned to dread, his instincts served him well given his job and this time they were screaming that there was something going on that he didn't know about, something important, something awful, something to do with Bones.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room and Booth noticed that Angela seemed unwilling to meet his eyes. Unable to bear it any longer he asked the question he now desperately needed answering.

"Angela where's Bones?"

Angela's head shot up, her eyes suddenly piercing right through him.

"The doctor hasn't told you?" she asked.

Booth could feel the first stirrings of panic and had to fight hard to push them back.

"Told me what? Angela what's happened is Bones alright?"

Unable to hold his fearful gaze Angela looked away.

"Maybe I should get the doctor?" she added heading for the door.

"NO," he shouted causing Angela to stop in her tracks, "Angela please just tell me, is she ok?"

Turning back and walking towards the bed, Angela took a deep breath and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to tell him everything.

"Yes Booth, she's fine. Physically anyway," Angela stated as she pulled up a chair and sat down.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Has the doctor told you anything?" Angela asked.

"Not much no, she briefly filled me in yesterday but I was struggling to stay awake so I just heard that I'd had an operation on my brain to remove a clot and that they'd kept me sedated for the last two weeks to let my brain recover," he left out the embarrassing part when he had told the doc about the whack on the head that had led to all this, but what did that have to do with Bones?

"How much do you remember?" Angela was unsure whether it was her responsibility to fill in the blanks for him, maybe it would be better coming from the doc who could deliver the news with clinical detachment. Doctor Michaels had contacted Brennan after Booth's operation and asked to see her. The doctor had wanted an explanation regarding Booth's 'extremely irregular behaviour'; it seemed that the intuitive woman had linked that statement with the injuries to Bones' face, and the extensive bruising to Agent Booth's groin. Again Bones had delivered the information in a professional and detached manner stating that she understood the reason for Booth's actions and that he couldn't be held responsible. The concerned doctor had offered Brennan the services of the hospital councillors but of course she had declined stating she was fine and had no need to discuss the matter further.

"Not much," Booth replied, "something about a case we were working on, some skeleton that was really fragile and Bones getting annoyed with herself because she couldn't figure out the cause of death. Other than that it's mostly blank. Why what happened?"

Angela was starting to feel sick, how could she tell him? Booth was a proud man, his sense of honour was so important to him. He already fought an army of demons following his actions as a sniper, how could she add to them. Angela thought back to her initial reaction hearing that it was Booth who had so hurt her best friend, her disbelief and horror; they were nothing compared to how he was going to feel about himself.

"Booth, the injury to your brain made you behave differently. The doctor said it was due to location of the bleed and that you couldn't help it."

"Couldn't help what Angela?" Booth asked, although he was sure he wasn't going to like the answer.

Angela didn't know which was best, to tell him gently; if that was even possible, or just get straight to the point.

Opting for a combination of both, she continued.

"You were supposed to meet Bren to talk about the case but you didn't show up. She was really pissed so she went to your place to ask you what was going on, but when she got there you were acting as though it was no big deal, you were getting ready to go out with the guys and when she confronted you it got ugly and she slapped you."

Booth listened intensely to Angela's words, it was very strange hearing her talk about him when he had no recollection of the events taking place, he was however completely unprepared for what she said next.

"Booth," Angela paused, bracing herself for the impact of her next words, "you hit her back."

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**A/N**

**Ok I know that was really cruel but keeping the suspense up is all part of writing a good story!**

**Hee hee – I'm so mean ;-) Good news though, I'm already writing the next part so I promise a quick update.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**See I promised a quick update, just a short one but I hope it doesn't disappoint.**

* * *

**Part 9**

Booth felt his heart slam in his chest as the force of Angela's words hit him, had he heard her right? Had she just said that he hit Bones? He would never hurt Bones, never, he couldn't, he lov……………. cared for her. Feeling the bile rise in his throat, he forced himself to speak.

"What do you mean I hit her? You mean I slapped her back?" he asked.

"No Booth, you hit her, as in punched her, in the face." Seeing the colour drain from his face Angela questioned the wisdom of giving him this information so soon after he had had major surgery; maybe that was why the doctor hadn't told him anything yet, maybe he wasn't well enough. Feeling the need to try and reassure him, Angela grabbed Booth's hand, wrapping both of her own around it desperate to offer whatever meagre comfort she could.

"Oh sweetie it wasn't you, you couldn't help it," Angela was terrified to tell Booth the rest of the story; she wasn't sure whether he could take it. He was now deathly pale and sweat was starting to pool on his forehead.

"Did I hurt her?" Booth pleaded, "for fucks sake of course I hurt her………..how badly?"

"She's ok, you know Bren she's tough. She's had far worse," Angela replied, unwillingly to elaborate.

"Angela will you just tell me and stop trying to protect me, I need to know," Booth snapped.

"You split her lip and gave her a nasty bruise, like I said she's had worse," Angela replied flatly.

Suddenly the vision from the previous night returned, Bones before him, hurt and scared, he remembered, but worse still he remembered how he had felt at the time, angry, powerful and oh my God, horny as hell.

Booth's vision was starting to grey out, he could feel sweat pouring from his body and the pounding in his head renewed fiercely, but he welcomed the pain, he deserved it.

"What else?" he whispered, holding onto his rapidly fading control.

"Maybe this isn't a good time Booth, you don't look so good. I think you need to rest," Angela was really starting to worry, Booth looked terrible, worse than he did when she discovered him unconscious in his apartment.

"A good time," Booth spat through clenched teeth, "A GOOD TIME, TELL ME ANGELA, WHEN IS IT A FUCKING GOOD TIME TO TELL ME I ASSAULTED MY PARTNER?"

Taking deep breaths and forcing himself to calm down at seeing Angela's shocked expression, Booth continued.

"Sorry Angela, but please tell me I need to know," he pleaded with her.

"Ok Booth I'll tell you, but please you need to try and stay calm. You're still very weak and what I'm going to tell you is going to be very hard to hear," Angela resolved that if Booth got any worse she would call the doctor immediately. Forcing back her own distress at seeing Booth so upset Angela continued.

"After you hit her Bren was obviously in shock so she didn't react, but you pinned her to the wall and held her down. You started kissing her and Bren couldn't stop you so she kissed you back until you relaxed enough for her to knee you in the crotch and get away."

That was it; that was all it took, just a couple of sentences for his life to change, for his world to come crashing down, and suddenly it all came flooding back to him the memory of what had happened in all it's glorious detail. Bones anger when she arrived to find him getting ready to go out, his patronising mockery of her dedication to her work, the unforgivable things he had said to her, the sting of her small hand connecting with his face and the rage he had felt when delivering the crunching blow that sent her reeling back against the wall. He saw her again looking at him, the shock and betrayal all too evident on her beautiful face, eyes wide with disbelief and pain; and then he saw it, pouncing on her and pinning her to the wall, the feel of her delicate wrist-bones grinding under his hands, the feeling of her initial resistance as she struggled to escape him, but he anticipated her every move and used his greater mass to overpower her. He also remembered kissing her, the feeling of her mouth beneath his, he had often thought about his first kiss with Bones but this was nothing like he had imagined, it was a sick mockery filled with the dominance and power he had felt at the time.

Suddenly it was too much and Booth felt his body started to fall, his vision faded and the roaring in his ears blocked out the sound of Angela calling his name, then the darkness came, the empty soothing darkness where he would no longer feel any pain.

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**A/N **

**New update asap, please review. What do think of Booth's reaction –was it too much / not enough??**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

**Just wanted to once again say a huge thank you to each and every one of you who takes the time to review. I love your comments, they make me laugh and really inspire me to update quickly ;-)  
**

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**  
Part 10**

Once again Angela found herself sitting in the hospital waiting for news about Booth. He had frightened the life out of her when he suddenly slumped into her arms, fortunately she had seen it coming and managed to catch him before he could fall out of bed and further injure himself. By some miracle Dr Michaels happened to walk into his room just had it had happened and instantly jumped into action as Nurse Owens ushered Angela out of the room.

So here she was again, waiting for news and praying that Booth was ok and she'd not made things worse by telling him what had happened. God what a mess, Angela thought resting her head in her hands, she couldn't believe she been the one to break the news to Booth. Her decision to visit him today had been a difficult one, she had expected that his doctor had given him at least some explanation of the impact his injury had caused, both for himself and his partner. If she had known otherwise she would have stayed away awhile; however she knew Booth would be expecting to see Brennan and she thought that he deserved an explanation as to why she wasn't there.

Angela was deeply worried about her best friend, as soon as she had heard that Booth's operation had been a success and he was recovering well, Bren had taken leave and disappeared. The only contact Angela had with her was the occasional text message telling her she was fine and not to worry. Not to worry! Yeah as if that was going to happen, in the two days before she left, Bren had totally shut down, disappearing into her office for hours, closing the blinds and shutting out the world. Anytime Angela had tried to talk to her she had been instantly dismissed with a curt, "I'm fine Angela." Once Angela had made the mistake of ignoring Bren's words and reaching for her to offer a little physical comfort, Bren had recoiled so sharply that Angela had quickly snatched her arm away while Bren had offered an embarrassed apology; saying was just tired and had over-reacted.

Bren was clearly far from fine, and had chosen to cut herself off from those who cared about her. Attempts to ring her cell had been futile, and the several messages Angela had left on her voicemail had just resulted in yet another text message stating the now hated words – I'm fine. Angela was at a loss as to what to do, she couldn't help Bren if she didn't know where she was; but her concern for her friend was growing when each day passed without her return.

Angela had checked on Booth's progress regularly, she had been relieved that his operation and recovery had so far been straightforward, but she had also been dreading the day he awoke to discover the chaos he had caused. She could only guess at his response although she knew he would hate and blame himself, she just hoped that if Bren could forgive him then maybe he could forgive himself. However, she knew the path to forgiveness and recovery was going to be a long one, with many obstacles along the way.

"Miss Montenegro," the voice snapped Angela back to the present.

"Yes," she replied, "is he ok?"

Doctor Michaels replied, "yes, he's fine."

Not that word again, Angela was so sick of hearing it.

"What happened?" she asked.

"It appears that he fainted, can you tell me what happened?"

Guiltily Angela gave the doctor an explanation, adding, "I didn't know whether I should tell him, but he knew something was wrong, when I eventually told him everything I think he must have remembered for himself and that's when he passed out."

"Well he was going to find out sooner or later and it doesn't seem to have done any real damage, his heart rate and blood pressure are back to normal. We've given him a slight sedative so he'll probably sleep for the rest of the day. You should go home, we'll call if there's any change," Dr Michaels stated with a reassuring smile.

"Ok thank you," Angela replied, relieved she didn't have to face Booth straight away.

* * *

Several hundred miles away, Temperance Brennan increased her pace. The long hike was an attempt to exhaust her both physically and mentally, with the intention of trying to calm her mind and give her some peace. For the first time in her adult life Tempe had not sought solace in the mysteries and wonders of her work, and had instead opted for the isolation and privacy of a quiet mountain cabin in nearby Virginia State. She needed solitude, unable to face being around people, especially the understanding and concerned faces of her friends and colleagues. She knew they had the best intentions but Tempe had felt smothered, she was not the type to spill her problems to her friends, even Angela; every trauma in her life she had worked through on her own and this was no exception.

The problem was that two weeks later she was no closer to finding a resolution to this crisis, and a crisis it was. Tempe knew Booth hadn't been responsible for his actions that terrible night, her logical brain told her so, and she had forgiven him immediately. He had been ill, he had a serious brain injury; he didn't know what he was doing, it wasn't his fault. These were things she had told herself hundreds of times, and she believed them, but in the middle of the night when the nightmares woke her screaming and sweating, they provided little comfort or consolation.

To the outside world Doctor Temperance Brennan was control personified. Professional, cool and occasionally tactless whilst not altogether rude. The image she presented was just that, an image, a parody of the woman inside. Most believed that she was cold and unfeeling when in fact the opposite was true, she felt things deeply. Every skeleton she worked on, every set of bones she identified was someone's loved one, someone's mother, child, partner, friend. Somewhere, somebody had grieved for this person, agonised over their death or disappearance, Tempe never forgot that and often worked herself to exhaustion to discover why that person had ended their journey through life on her examination table.

Her image was her shield, her protection, her defence against those who could cause her pain, and if they did cause her pain, her shield kept her safe, they never knew it and never would. Only a select few had the occasional glimpse of the woman behind the shield, the sensitive, caring, loyal woman who was a privilege to know and call a friend. Angela knew her well and over the last year Booth had come to know her too. Booth had been an unexpected ally, he had slipped behind the protective wall one day when she wasn't looking; her sophisticated defence system had also failed to detect his entry and he had quickly taken up residence.

The only times Temperance had allowed herself to think about how much she had come to depend on him was when either his life or hers was at risk. The time her fridge had exploded and she had fought to extinguish his burning clothing, the panic she had felt had been overwhelming, only when she knew he was ok had it receded, firmly locked away. The faith she had in him to protect her was absolute, from the moment he had saved her from Agent Kenton when he kidnapped her whilst working on the Hollins case, she knew he would willingly give his life for hers. The discomfort Booth had felt from his injuries were unimportant as she clung to him, craving the comfort he willingly gave regardless of the pain he was feeling.

In the past two weeks Tempe had come to a startling conclusion, she loved him, and it wasn't something that had just happened. When forcing herself to be honest with her feelings, she realised it had happened some time ago, maybe when she had been in his arms that time, her heart pounding, the sound of the dogs ringing in her ears but the feeling of relief and security she had felt in his arms had been overwhelming and what she now knew, she had craved for most of her life. Her rational brain told her it wasn't true, she just valued his commitment to her safety and well-being as well as his dedication to his job. But her heart, if she believed in such nonsense, told her that she did love him, could possibly be in love with him but she couldn't think about that right now, besides he was with Cam and probably had no romantic interest in an emotionally stunted, socially inept anthropologist.

But where did that leave her considering what had just transpired between them? Even though she knew it wasn't rational, Tempe felt betrayed, her trust in Booth destroyed and no matter how many times she told herself it wasn't his fault, her memory took her back to that terrible night and the utter devastation she had felt. She **had **forgiven him, but could she forget? How could she still love him when the memory of his touch now evoked fear instead of comfort? Tempe had never believed in psychology, but she also recognised all the symptoms of post traumatic stress she was experiencing, flashbacks, inability to sleep and nightmares when she finally did, the vulnerability she now felt. How could she overcome these and return to her job? How could she work with Booth again? Did she even want to? Stopping to admire the breath taking view of the valley below her, Tempe realised no matter how hard she pushed herself physically, her thoughts and feelings refused to be suppressed.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N **

**Hi everyone, some of the reviews I received after the last chapter were awesome, thank you so much, I really mean it, I love reading them.  
**

* * *

**Part 11**

Booth didn't want to wake up, he was far happier here floating somewhere between sleep and awareness. Here he could pretend everything was fine and he would wake up at home, ready to spend a day with his Bones, enjoying her keen mind and dedication to justice. He would tease her a little as he always did, he knew she secretly enjoyed their good-natured banter; the way her eyes sparkled when he pushed her buttons spoke far more than her contradictory words. Yeah, she loved it.

Booth continued to float, content in his drug induced trance where everything was right in the world; but he knew he couldn't stay here; he had to wake up, even though consciousness would bring pain and suffering and the knowledge that everything was far from right; it was, in reality, very very wrong.

But it was inevitable, as consciousness returned, and recollection slammed into him with the speed of an oncoming train he bolted upright gasping for breath.

He tried to stop it, but it was like trying to hold back a tidal wave, and without warning, he was there once more, reliving the horror, hearing him say those terrible words. Words intended to cause shock and pain, words that cut deep and left ugly scars; and he watched as a single tear escaped and spilled over, tracking a lonely path down her cheek. He felt himself sneer at her pain, and the sting of her slap combined with her defiant words just ignited his rage; and as time slowed he felt his fist clench, his shoulder muscles contracting as they pulled his arm back, and the tightening of his body as it prepared for the recoil of impact. The pop as his fist connected with her face was deafening to his ears, and as he pulled his hand back he could see the blood on his knuckles, not his own but hers, her precious life blood, vivid and red. He looked up as she crashed into the wall with a sickening thud, and as she turned toward him and their eyes connected, he would never forget what he saw there. Trust destroyed, faith shattered and worst of all, fear, fear of him and what he might do next. And then he was on her, predicting her resistance and blocking any attempt she made to break free. She didn't make a sound but he could sense her shock and desperation, and it further fuelled his desire, his need to control her, to assert his greater strength and prove his power over her. And then he was kissing her, and he could taste her blood and fear. But then unexpectedly she kissed him back, fiercely, and like a fool he was taken in, he believed she wanted him, but now in his flashback, he could feel her panic and instead of the joy he should feel at her body pressed against his, he felt revulsion and loathing at the memory of his lust and desire.

The memory of blinding pain as her knee connected with his most sensitive body parts was welcome, as it was finally over and he snapped back to reality. Panting and fighting back the bile rising in his throat, Booth clenched his eyes against the tears of regret.

"Oh God, what have I done," he whispered raggedly, the knowledge that he had not been responsible for his actions was little comfort; and he was sure it wasn't of much relief to Bones either.

Bones; where was she? What was she thinking? How was she feeling?

He needed to see her, but how could he face her? How could he ever apologise for what he had done? Words would never be enough, that's if she ever wanted to see him again.

Thinking of his partner Booth once again recalled the look in her eyes after he'd hit her, the horror and pain she was feeling; **he **had caused that. How could she ever trust him again? Temperance Brennan did not trust easily, trust had to be earned, and once gained; it was a precious gift, not to be squandered, but nurtured and protected.

His Bones, how had she ever come to be **his** Bones? Booth thought back to that first case they had worked together a long time ago before they became partners. He hadn't known her then and had immediately antagonised her with his brash and cocky manner. He thought she was cold, a ball breaking bitch, brilliant in her field but socially incompetent and clueless. But over the last year he had gained an insight into the woman she really was, tough as nails on the outside but fragile and insecure when you looked deeper and caught a glimpse of the real woman; and he'd worked hard to get to know that woman. The woman with an extraordinary compassion for the remains she worked with, never losing sight of the person they once were. The woman whom Angela clearly adored and whom Jack and Zack admired and respected, not just because of her vast knowledge and experience, but due to the way she valued them and their work, and appreciated their individual expertise.

She had let him in, unconsciously maybe, but with his gentle teasing and patient persistence he had chipped away at her defences and gradually gained her trust. Sometimes she drove him nuts, her stubbornness and refusal to consider anything but facts and evidence, her total lack of knowledge regarding pop culture – which when he thought about it was quite endearing, especially the blank look accompanied by "I don't know what that means," which made him smile in recollection. Sometimes she could be tactless, and tended to provoke others, something that had caused him to 'rescue' her on a number of occasions; and sometimes she was just outright irritating, especially when she began a sentence with "anthropologically speaking………………………."

But somewhere, somehow she had got to him, crawled under his skin and into his heart. He'd seen it coming and had tried to stop it but it was useless. She was part of him now and he would fight like hell to keep her that way.

He had to see her, but he knew she probably wouldn't come to visit or she'd have been here already, reaching for the call button, he summoned a nurse and asked for a phone. He then paused, receiver in hand, should he call her cell, her office, her home? Would she answer if she knew it was him? Dialling the number for the lab, he waited, pushing back the feeling of nausea rising in his belly. He was relieved when it was Angela who picked up.

"Angela, it's Booth."

"Hey Booth, how're feeling? You scared the hell out of me yesterday?"

"I'm sorry, I'm fine now, really."

Angela's jaw clenched at the use of the detested word, of course he was fine, that's why he had passed out when she broke the news to him.

"Angela I need to see Bones, I know she probably doesn't want to speak to me, so if she won't come to the phone can you convince her to come to the hospital? Please."

With a sigh Angela replied, "oh sweetie, she's not here, she took off after your operation."

Booth's stomach gave a painful flip, "where did she go?" he asked fearfully.

"I wish I knew. All I do know is that she's safe, I've had a few text messages from her but nothing more than a couple of words."

Booth was stunned, but he probably should have guessed she'd do this.

"Well, when is she coming back?"

"I don't know sweetie, when she's ready I suppose, although goodness knows when that will be. Sorry Booth."

"It's ok," he replied, he hesitated in asking his next question, afraid of the answer.

"Angela be honest with me. How was she, before she left?"

Taking a deep breath Angela realised Booth would see straight through any attempt to placate him.

"She was a mess Booth, she wouldn't come out of her office and when I tried to give her a hug she nearly jumped out of her skin, and then she just disappeared. I went to her apartment but she wasn't there, I tried ringing her cell but got no answer; then I got a text message saying 'don't worry I'm fine'. Don't worry," Angela said incredulously, "as if that's going to happen!"

"I'm sorry Ange, this is all my fault. I just don't know what to do!"

"Booth, this isn't your fault and you know it. You were ill, your brain was bleeding and it changed you. Bren knows you would never hurt her on purpose, it's just gonna take some time sweetie, for **both **of you."

"But I **need **to see her, I need to apologise, **I need to know she's ok**," desperation was causing his voice to break and he forced himself to calm down before he broke down.

"I know you do, so do I, but what can we do? We'll just have to wait Booth and keep trying her cell, you never know, one time she might answer."

"Ok, but I don't like it and as soon as I'm out of here, I'll find her, no matter where she is," he answered, and Angela was relieved to hear some of the old Booth determination in his voice.

"I know you will sweetie, but you need to get well, you'll be no help to her if you make yourself ill again," Angela replied without thinking, then cursed her tactlessness as she realised what she'd said.

"Shit, sorry Booth I didn't mean you'd hurt her again, I just meant….."

"It's ok Ange, I know what you meant," he interupted, "I won't leave until the doc says so, I just hope that's soon."

Don't count on it Angela thought to herself.

"Oh Booth I forgot to tell you, Cam had to go to some big wig meeting in New York, she tried to get out of it but couldn't. She asked you to call her," Angela had to force the next words out of her mouth, "and she sends her love."

"Er, yeah, right, thanks Angela," Booth replied, embarrassed and ashamed as he hadn't given Cam a thought all day.

"Anyway, we were all coming to visit after work if that's still ok?"

"Yeah course it is," Booth replied although he wasn't looking forward to seeing Hodgins, or Zack, both of them thought the world of their beloved Doctor Brennan and he wouldn't blame them for wanting to kill him right now.

"Ok I'll see you then. Bye Booth and you take care."

"Bye Ange, you too."

Hanging up, Booth once more called for a nurse.

After a brief conversation with Nurse Owens, Booth discovered to his dismay that he would have to wait at least another two weeks before he would be discharged.

Two weeks! But maybe that was ok, Bones probably needed that time, so did he. Two weeks to recover. Two weeks to gain some perspective. Two weeks to think about how he could make things right.

Two weeks to worry about her. Two weeks to wonder whether she would ever forgive him. Two weeks to relive the terrifying flashbacks.

**Two weeks of hell.**

* * *

**A/N**

**Some of you may think another description of a flashback is unnecessary, but I think it is vital to convey the full impact the attack has had on Booth – after all he's a victim too!**

**Please review, I've become an addict ;-) **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

**Hi everyone, sorry for the delay, have had a permanent headache the past couple of days!**

**This just a short filler that is necessary for the flow of the story.**

**Thanks for the reviews everyone, glad you're still on board.  
**

* * *

**Part 12**

Hell was an accurate assessment; the past two weeks had been the longest of his life. The monotonous time spent in the hospital had given Booth far too much time to think. Time to relive an event that had now taken place almost a month ago but which he still recalled in all of its agonising detail. The flashbacks may have reduced in frequency but his memory refused to give up its constant rerun like a movie playing on a continuous loop. Never a patient man, the process of waiting for his body to heal had been torturous, whilst Booth accepted the seriousness of his injury, hell it had totally turned his world upside down, he still grew frustrated at his inability to take action and do something productive.

Physical therapy had kept his sanity intact, having been injured and bed ridden on several occasions, Booth knew how quickly muscle tone could weaken, and he put everything he had into regaining his physical strength. Pushing himself to the point of exhaustion in the hospital gym had been Booth's salvation; that and the few occasions when his son had visited. Parker's energy and enthusiasm were highly infectious, and for the short time he was with him, Booth was able to push his memories aside and enjoy their time together.

Cullen had visited a couple of times, he obviously knew what had happened between him and Bones and the implications for their working relationship. Booth was on indefinite medical leave and had to see some psychiatrist, a Dr Wyatt, before he could return. Booth wasn't too happy about the order, but at the moment he'd agree to anything if it brought him a step closer to having his life back.

Booth didn't call Cam, he knew he should have but he really didn't have anything to say to her, not over the phone anyway. When she had eventually returned from New York, her visit had been awkward and uncomfortable. She had said all the right things, it wasn't his fault, he shouldn't blame himself, blah, blah, blah. But Booth could sense the change between them and Cam had been the one to break things off, he wasn't sure why and she didn't give an explanation other than some lame excuse about it not being the right time. Yeah, whatever, he had thought and then wondered at his reaction when the only emotion he could identify in himself was relief. Cam was the least of his worries, getting the hell out of the hospital and finding his partner had been his first priority.

His confinement hadn't been entirely futile as Booth had been able to call in a few favours and thanks to her cell phone, had discovered the whereabouts of Bones. He had expected her to be in some remote hell-hole, digging up and identifying long forgotten souls; he had been surprised to discover she was much closer to home and therein lay his dilemma. Did he go to her, or wait for her to return. Bones had finally made contact via a short phone call to Angela a week ago. Angela had refused to go into much detail out of respect for her friend, but she had basically said she was ok but needed some more time to 'prepare herself for a return to work'. Booth took that as a positive sign, at least she was planning on a return; but how long should he wait?

Always a man of action Booth decided enough time had passed, he would go to her, they needed to talk, and if she refused to see him, at least he had tried and had not remained immobile and indecisive. So now he found himself driving to Warren County to try and piece together the shattered remains of his life. Quite how he was going to do that he didn't have a clue, but he had to do it, even though the thought of seeing Bones again filled him with dread.

* * *

Sitting on the porch of the small cabin Bones once again thought about returning to the Jeffersonian, she wanted to go back, but the thought of returning to work and being surrounding by people who knew what had happened was too much to bear. She knew they were well meaning and just concerned for her, but she was a private person and right now she felt as though she had no control of her life.

However, as much as she tried to deny it, Tempe knew the real reason for her indecision was having to face Booth again. She had no idea how they could return to their previous professional friendship, or if it was even possible. Their relationship had been built on mutual respect, trust and teamwork; how could that ever be renewed given what had happened. Tempe knew Booth well enough to know how hard this would be for him as well; he was a straight forward man, who took pride in his sense of justice and ability to protect others. He would feel like he had failed, his inability to protect her from himself would surely be causing him great distress. Angela had told her that he was recovering quickly, but that he was worried about her and wanted to talk. Just like Booth she thought, Angela had often referred to Booth as Tempe's protector, something she found both comforting and slightly patronising. At least she had, how ironic that her protector had been the one to make her feel so vulnerable and defenceless. Rising to make herself a drink, Tempe knew she couldn't hide any longer, the time had come to face the world; she would ring Angela later and return home tomorrow.

Waiting for the kettle to boil, Tempe was disturbed by the sound of a car outside. Probably just the ranger she mused, he called by every couple of days to check she was ok. Anticipating his knock and opening the door, Tempe's heart froze in her chest at the sight of her visitor.

"Booth," she whispered in shock.

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**A/N**

**Sorry I know I have a sadistic streak, but I like to keep you on your toes ;-)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

**Hey everyone, thanks once more for the reviews, I know I say it every time but they do inspire me.**

* * *

**Part 13**

"Booth," he heard her whisper eyes wide with shock, and for just a second he saw it, for just a second it was there before she chased it away; the fear in her eyes, fear of him, and it nearly killed him.

"Hey Bones," he replied quietly.

Taking in her appearance Booth saw with horror the physical evidence left by his attack. On anyone else four weeks may have been enough time for the bruises to heal, but on her fair skin they had just about faded to a pale yellow. Her lip was another story, still swollen and bruised and marred by two stitches; her beautiful eyes were dull and flat, ringed by dark circles; and if he wasn't mistaken she had lost weight, not that she had been carrying any excess pounds to start with. But seeing her there, standing before him he was overwhelmed by how much he had missed her, and he fought the desire to pull her to his arms and beg her to forgive him.

"I'm so sorry," he began, but was quickly interrupted.

"What are you doing here?" Tempe asked, she couldn't believe he had found her, but then he was an F.B.I. agent so she should have known he would. But she wasn't ready yet; when she saw him again she had wanted to be prepared, in control, not standing here feeling exposed and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry Bones, but I needed to see you, to apologise. Please can we talk?" Booth asked hopefully, terrified that she would tell him to go to hell.

Tempe's brain seemed to have deserted her, usually her intellect was her greatest ally, logically enabling her to deal with any situation, but right now she couldn't think past her shock. Without another word she turned and walked back into the cabin, her mind reflexively directing her body to perform a familiar task.

Taking her silence as consent Booth slowly followed her into the small cabin, his previous conviction that he was doing the right thing wavered as he noticed the tremor in Bones' hand when she reached for the kettle.

"I was just making myself a cup of tea, would you like one," Bones whispered, never once looking in his direction.

Preferring coffee but choosing not to say so, Booth replied, "yeah, thanks."

Watching as she walked to the sink and turned on the tap, his heart shattered as she tried to keep the spout under the flow of water, but her hands were now trembling so violently that most of the water spilled over the side. Standing to offer assistance, Booth reached over her shoulder to take the kettle, "here let me do it," he said.

The effect was immediate, Bones jumped so violently that the kettle fell from her hand crashing into the sink with a loud bang; swiftly recoiling away from him, Bones' hip slammed into the handle of a nearby cupboard and she hissed in pain.

Before Booth had a chance to speak, Bones fled up the stairs and the sound of a door slamming echoed in his ears.

* * *

In the bathroom Bones fell to her knees as the full force of the panic attack washed over her. Her heart hammered violently in her chest, the roaring in her ears deafening in its intensity, her breathing approaching the point of hysteria. Time slowed and distorted as her vision started to fade and her hands began to cramp. Realising she was beginning to hyperventilate, Bones found the strength to stop panting and slow her breathing. Falling to her side Bones stared at the sideways view of the bathroom floor and wondered if she was losing her mind; as he had reached over her and she had sensed his presence, caught his scent, she'd been back there, back to that night, trapped against the wall and unable to get away. Her body had reacted on reflex, fight or flight, and this time she had fled, desperate and terrified despite the knowledge that he had meant her no harm. 

Stretched out on the floor, Bones became aware of the pain in her hip. Climbing to her feet she gingerly unfastened her jeans to take a look. The bruise had already turned from red to purple, cursing she turned to the sink, turning on the cold tap she soaked a wash cloth and held it to the bruise. After a few moments she gave up and threw the cloth in the sink; what was the point, it was just another bruise; another pain to ignore and pretend wasn't there.

Why had he come? He had no right. He needed to see her, but what about what she needed? Time and some distance. Why couldn't he leave her alone? He had reduced her to this, a scared, weak, nervous wreck, fighting for control in the lonely bathroom. He had changed her from a strong, independent woman to a fractured, splintered shell of herself. She wanted her life back, she wanted to look in the mirror and recognise her reflection, and she had been ready to take that first step, to regain some control, but he had taken that away from her, and this time she didn't know if she could forgive him.

With that realisation, Bones sank to the floor, hugged her legs to her chest and silently let the tears fall.

* * *

Outside Booth was fighting a similar battle, as Bones had fled the room; he had fled the cabin, desperate to escape the anguish he had caused.

Reaching his car, he slammed his fists on the bonnet, "you stupid fucking asshole," he swore through clenched teeth. What the hell had he been thinking? He wasn't an idiot, he knew you shouldn't sneak up on any victim of assault; this was especially obvious if you were the perpetrator for God's sake. He still couldn't believe he had done it, he hadn't thought about it, Bones needed help so he went to help her. He couldn't think of her as a victim, but he recalled her reaction to him, the way she had jumped away as though scolded as he had frightened her yet again, caused tears of frustration to well in his eyes as he realised that was exactly what he had caused her to be.

He shouldn't have come, it wasn't his call but he had missed her and was worried about her and what she was thinking. He couldn't stand the thought that he wasn't there to save her; that he couldn't make amends, so he had used his insecurities as a justification for his actions and acted like an insensitive jerk just showing up and thinking he could help her. He didn't have a damn clue as to how he could help her. He didn't have a damn clue what to do.

Sinking to the ground he desperately prayed that he hadn't made things worse, that this wasn't the end of their friendship, their relationship, and everything it meant to him. But if that was what it took for her to heal, for her to be strong again, then he would do it; he would walk away and leave her alone, even though he couldn't bear the thought of his life without her.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey I'm an angst junkie!**

**Lighter stuff to come, I promise!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**

**Hi again, sorry for the delay, been sooooo busy! **

**Thanks again for all your reviews, each and everyone of you, my faithful reviewers, new reviewers, the ones who offered ideas and suggestions, you're all the greatest!!  
**

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Part 14

Managing to pull herself together, Bones once more climbed to her feet, after rinsing her tearstained face she came downstairs and glanced out of the window. Booth was still there, she expected to feel fearful again or at least a little anxious, but this time the sight of Booth sitting on the ground leaning against his car looking so thoroughly dejected and miserable, just made her feel sadness which dissolved her earlier anger towards him. He couldn't change who he was, he couldn't change the fact that he had needed to take action and take the first step towards reconciliation, it was inevitable, and she reluctantly accepted that.

Now realising that Booth didn't really like tea, Bones made a pot of coffee and poured both herself and Booth a mug full then headed outside. Booth didn't look up as she approached so she set the mug down at his feet. Searching for something to say to break the tension, she commented on his notable change in appearance.

"Nice haircut Booth, guess you won't be needing any hair gel for a while?"

Her words caused him to look up and for the first time since he'd arrived, their eyes met, brown piercing through blue, and the pain she saw there took her breath away, pain she recognised so clearly it was almost like looking at her own reflection and just for a moment her own pain was forgotten, her concern for him blotting out everything else she was feeling. Several long seconds passed, eyes communicating without words, souls connecting and pouring out their despair, guilt and sorrow to each other before Tempe finally looked away, astounded and somewhat unsettled at what they had just exchanged.

"Bones, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have come here, I was just worried about you and wanted to apologise, but then I scared you again and I thought I should leave but I needed to know you were ok, so I just waited here 'cause I didn't think you'd want me to come inside and I didn't want to leave you alone so I ………………," realising he was rambling Booth stopped talking but was surprised to see the slight smile on Bones lips at his sudden outpouring of words. The sight of which brought a smile to his own face and in that smile a glimmer of hope surfaced in both of them, hope that maybe something of their battered relationship could be retrieved.

"I know Booth, I was angry with you for coming but I should have known you would, especially given your past history," she responded recalling how he had flown down to New Orleans the second he heard she was in trouble.

"Was angry?" Booth asked cautiously.

Looking at the hope and desperation on his face, Bones smiled once more. "Yes Booth, was, I just had a fright, the rational part of me knew you weren't going to hurt me, but then the spike of adrenalin caused by your unexpected proximity caused my body to react with the fight or flight response. The result of which caused an emotional outburst and I became very upset and angry, but I have calmed down now and gained some perspective," Bones stated analytically.

Same old Bones, Booth thought to himself relieved to hear her resorting to a familiar scientific explanation of what had just happened.

"How are you Booth?" Bones asked.

Rubbing a hand across his closely cropped scalp, Booth winced at the unfamiliar fluffy feeling of his very short hair, "I'm fine," he replied, "I just hope it grows back quickly, I look like a thug."

"No you don't," Bones replied, grinning at his observation.

Picking up his coffee Booth sipped the soothing liquid as he watched her do the same, then noticed her wince at the obvious pain her injured lip was causing. His guilt resurfaced immediately at her continuing pain from an injury he had inflicted.

"Your lip looks painful," he stated obviously, but he didn't know else to say.

Bones eyes again connected with his and he was alarmed to see a look of panic flash across them.

She didn't know how to respond, until about a week ago her lip had refused to heal, each morning she had awoken with the taste of blood in her mouth, the wound open and oozing. Eventually she had relented and driven to the local hospital where the doctor had informed her that the most likely explanation was that she was biting her lip in her sleep. He had then gone on to ask about how she had received the injury and whether she was experiencing nightmares. Not wanting to discuss the terrifying flashbacks she experienced most nights, Bones lied that she had been in a minor car accident and was having trouble sleeping; she knew the doctor hadn't believed her but fortunately he hadn't pressed her for more information and had given her something to help her sleep. Tempe usually resisted the use of any kind of sedative but as she was approaching exhaustion; she had agreed and finally given her ragged lip the chance to heal and gain some vitally needed rest. Unfortunately the doctor had also told her she would most probably be left with a scar, just what she needed she thought in retrospect, a permanent reminder of one of the worst moments of her life.

"It's ok," she answered, "just taking a while to heal."

An uncomfortable moment of silence passed as both recalled the events that had caused the split lip, not to mention what had followed. Booth had no idea how to apologise, the words 'I'm sorry' were painfully inadequate but he had to start somewhere.

"Bones," he started, and then waited until she was looking at him. Once more he used his eyes to convey his feelings and hoped she got the message.

"What I did to you was unforgivable," noticing she was about to interrupt he continued, "please just let me say this."

Summoning up his strength Booth finally gave voice to the thoughts and anxieties that had been plaguing his mind the last couple of weeks.

"I know you'll say it wasn't my fault and then give me a long medical explanation as to why I behaved the way I did, but I still feel responsible because it was still me, still my body that assaulted you. I hope you know Bones that I would never ever hurt you on purpose. You are one of the strongest, bravest most independent people I know and I have enormous respect for you, but part of my job, part of me and who I am needs to protect you, needs to keep you safe. You'll probably tell me it's my alpha-male tendencies and you're probably right, but your safety means everything to me. I remember what happened Bones, I remember every detail of what I did to you, I know how much I hurt you and how frightened you were, and it absolutely kills me. I don't expect you to forgive me but I just hope that we can work something out, ……………… but if you want a new partner, then of course I'll understand."

That thought terrified Booth, he didn't want to lose her, either as a partner, or friend or whatever the hell else she was to him; but he was totally at a loss as to what to do. He had thought coming today had been the right thing, but after what had happened, he knew he had been the wrong. Looking up Booth saw that Bones' eyes had flooded with tears and her jaw was quivering, he hated the thought that he had upset her again but he had to say something, he had to try and make things right between them.

Bones fought to hold herself together, his words had touched her deeply and though she tried hard to deny it as it went against everything she had tried all her life to convince herself she didn't need, she had secretly enjoyed Booth's dedication to her safety, it had given her the sense of security that had been missing for all of her adult life. But she didn't quite feel safe with him anymore, she felt vulnerable and confused; and although she knew he would never hurt her purposefully she still felt hurt and betrayed by his actions even though she grew frustrated at her perceived irrationality.

"Booth you're right," Tempe answered fighting back tears, "I am going to tell you it wasn't your fault but I know you well enough to know that you will take full responsibility for your actions. You have a strong sense of honour and I know that will make it hard for you to accept what happened. I don't want a new partner but I'm not ready to talk about this yet. I could lie and tell you that I'm fine but you know I'm not, you saw what just happened."

"So what do we do?" Booth asked, he now knew that he had to wait, be patient and let Bones decide what she needed, even though he wished he could just make it better by holding her close and promising everything would be ok, hey it always worked when Parker was upset.

"You know how much I hate psychology Booth and I hate to admit it but I need time to sort all this out, I want to go home and back to my life and just see what happens," Bones answered although she too wished there was an easy solution, just wave a magic wand and everything would go back to the way it was. Just for second Tempe wished she believed in magic, wished that life wasn't so complicated and messy, but she knew that if she was going to get past this, and if their relationship was going to recover then her usual practice of shutting out all of her feelings and emotions wasn't going to work this time, the past four weeks had told her so.

"I guess I'll head back then," Booth stated, "do you know when you'll be back?" he asked, not wanting to pressure her but hoping it wouldn't be too long.

"Tomorrow," Tempe replied, "I'd already decided before you arrived, I need to get back," the familiar set of her jaw confirming the truth of her words.

Nodding and then climbing to his feet Booth held out his hand to help Bones to hers, giving her the option to choose whether she wanted to or not.

Looking up into his eyes, pleading and hopeful, Tempe reached out and took that first step, and as their hands clasped and she felt the gentle strength of his touch, the memory it evoked this time was not one of fear, but of reassurance. Standing together, hands tightly grasped and eyes locked together, time stood still as neither wanted to break the moment. Booth desperately wanted to pull her to his arms but he knew she wasn't ready and too soon she would pull her hand from his.

She always hugged him when she was scared, and right now she was terrified. How many times and she been in his arms, when the feeling of his strength and protection had calmed her and soothed her fears. So now, with the strength of all her conviction she summoned those precious memories of the safety and security she had always felt with him. She was stubborn and brave and right now she refused to be scared anymore, so ever so slowly she closed the space between them and seeing the realisation and joy in his eyes, she held her breath and stepped rigidly into his arms. As his hands ever so carefully stroked her back and he released a shuddering breath, she allowed herself to relax and once again trust in his gentle touch, and in that moment Doctor Temperance Brennan did believe in magic.

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**A/N**

**Ok I know some of you will be thinking that Tempe wouldn't have hugged him so soon, but our Bones is tough and stubborn and I think she'd want to take back some control.**

**Anyway hope this was ok and didn't disappoint, it was _really _difficult to write, please let me know what you think.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hi everyone, no your eyes are not deceiving you, this is an update!**

**So so so sorry for the ridiculous wait for this, I totally lost my mojo and didn't know what direction to take the story in although I had and have every intention of finishing it. I'm back on track now although I won't be able to update as quickly as before as I'm really busy at the moment, but I do promise regular updates now. **

**Thanks very much for all the reviews, apologies once again for the delay!**

**This chapter is a little action-less, but necessary for the plotline – you may want to re-read the rest of the story first as you've had to wait soooooo long! Again sorry :-(****  
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Part 15 

Normality, that was what was needed; but was it possible? Temperance once again lay awake, her thoughts a jumbled mess of confusion. Booth's visit earlier that day had given her a glimmer of hope; hope that they could return to some semblance of normality, hope that there was hope! But she wasn't a fool; she knew it would take time, if it was even possible.

Tempe had felt safe again for just a few seconds in Booth's arms, how ironic, he was the person who had caused her fear in the first place and yet he was the only person who had brought her comfort and made her feel, just for a moment, like her old self again. But the feeling hadn't lasted for long, after several moments of comfort, their embrace had become awkward, neither knowing when to break away and had eventually dissolved into embarrassment, neither making eye contact as Booth self-consciously said goodbye and climbed into his car. Tempe was saddened by this; their hugs had always been so natural, never clumsy or difficult as this one had been.

Confusion was an understatement for her feelings, she felt as though there were two Booths, the one who terrorised her dreams, the one she feared and loathed. Even though his input in her life had been fleeting, it had made a lasting impression. Logically she knew that that Booth no longer existed, but the memory of him was so strong, so vivid and overwhelming, it was as though she carried him with her, everywhere she went, he was there, inescapable and relentless.

Then there was the other Booth, her fiercely protective, warm, funny partner, who could be slightly annoying and arrogant at times, but whom she trusted implicitly and cared for deeply. How could she reconcile the two when they were so wildly different, so completely opposite? She knew however, that if their relationship, their partnership, was to be repaired then she had to learn to live with what had happened and find a way to move forward.

She would take that first step tomorrow, tomorrow she would return home, back to work, back to her colleagues and friends, back to the comfort and reassurance of her job; back to him and all the uncertainty of what would happen between them. With these conflicting thoughts buzzing through her mind, Tempe eventually drifted off into a restless sleep.

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Driving back to D.C. Booth was resolute, whatever it took, whatever he had to do, he would do it; anything to bring their relationship back to how it had been before all this had happened. Holding her earlier had been overwhelming; she never failed to amaze him with her bravery and strength. He knew what it had taken for her to trust him and allow him to hold her, he had seen the inner battle in her eyes, the determined set of her jaw as she refused to surrender to her fear, and the extreme relief he had felt as she held him had almost brought him to his knees. He knew that Bones had quickly felt uncomfortable, he could pinpoint the exact time it had happened as she stiffened in his arms causing him embarrassment and shame, but it was a start; a hesitant step forward and a tentative whisper of what might be. 

Tomorrow he would speak to Cullen, would go and see the shrink, would give in to any tests they asked of him; if that's was what it would take to get his Bones back then he would do it, he just prayed that she would do the same. With added determination and a sense of focus, Booth increased his speed, his destination in sight.

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Tomorrow quickly came as Temperance returned home and spent a day unpacking and cleaning her dusty apartment, the day was mercifully quiet, with no visits or phone calls from anyone. Tempe didn't know whether to be relieved or a little hurt by this. Angela and Booth both knew she was back today but had stayed quiet, respecting her privacy she surmised. Unfortunately it gave her way too much time to think, her thoughts constantly returning to her partner and her imminent return to work and Tempe once again found herself dreading tomorrow.

Tomorrow then very quickly became today, Bones nervously stood outside the lab summoning the courage to enter. Her lab had always been a refuge, a place of comfort and reassurance, even when surrounded by death. Dr Temperance Brennan was brilliant in her field, at the cutting edge of her profession, proud and confident she had always felt in her work, but today she was anything but confident. She felt weak, anxious and panicky and it was a completely alien feeling in this environment, here where she had always felt at home. Maybe it was too soon, maybe she should have stayed away today, taken another day to prepare herself for the moment when she had to enter the lab and feel all eyes turn to her, feel them look at her with a mixture of sadness and curiosity.

Physically shaking herself, Tempe squared her shoulders, opened the little box inside her mind, the one where she stored unwanted feelings and emotions and then slammed the lid tightly on her insecurities and fears. This was where she belonged, where she ruled, where she kicked ass and she was determined not to let anything or anyone change that. Head held high she pushed the door open and entered the lab. She needn't have worried, she was early and it was quiet. There were a couple of lab techs working on one of the platforms, but they didn't even raise their heads as the sound of her heels echoed off the numerous steel surfaces. Quickly heading into her office she lowered the blinds and switched on her computer; sitting at her desk waiting for it to boot up her mind wandered to her partner, wondering when he would be returning to work. Tempe was aware that as he was still recovering from major surgery it may be some time, but knowing Booth she was sure he would eager to return as soon as possible. Was she ready for that? Would they be working together? Could they work together?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, Tempe answered,

"Come in."

Three familiar faces peered around the door and Temperance had to smile as they looked even more nervous than she was.

"Hi everyone, come on in, it's ok I'm fine," she assured them.

Angela rushed forward as Tempe stood up and was engulfed in a huge hug that threatened to take her breath away.

Stepping back quickly, Angela apologised, "sorry sweetie, didn't mean to suffocate you. I'm just so happy to see you."

"Don't worry Angela, I'm happy to see you too," turning to the other two members of 'her team' Bones added, "all of you."

"Welcome back Doctor Brennan," Zach said, his body language typically unsure and awkward, not quite making eye contact. The past few weeks had been very hard for him, his boss had always been so strong and confident and the shock of seeing her so vulnerable had been particularly hard to bear.

Making a bold move, Temperance hugged Zach, her actions mirroring those of several months earlier when her student had graduated and her pride in him had prompted her uncharacteristic behaviour.

"Hey, can I get in on that hug?" Jack asked, as Temperance turned to him and received her third hug of the morning.

"It's good to have you back," he whispered as he held her tightly, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. The woman in his arms may be his boss, but the memory of her anguished and terrified appearance at Angela's apartment a few short weeks ago would not leave his memory for a long, long time. He hadn't realised what tight little family they had become until one of them was hurting. His instincts still screamed to kick Booth's ass for what he had done and he constantly had to remind himself that the guy couldn't be held accountable, even if it did make his blood boil.

Feeling a little overwhelmed by the love and concern she felt from her friends, Bones fell back on an old defence. Pulling back from Jack's embrace, she quickly asked,

"So what's been happening here while I've been away? Anything new?"

Recognising her friend's discomfort, Angela began to fill Tempe in on the relatively uninteresting events of the past weeks, Jack and Zach chipping in when needed. The FBI hadn't assigned a new agent to the Jeffersonian but had sent a set of remains that the team had been working on. Temperance was keen to discuss their findings but wanted a moment alone with Angela. Waiting until Jack and Zach left she finally asked the burning question.

"What about Booth, Angela is he coming back?"

Surprised by the bold question, Angela hesitated with her answer,

"Erm, I don't know sweetie, I suppose that's up to you," she responded cautiously.

"What do you mean, up to me how?" Tempe asked, confusion etched into her face.

"Well Booth is still our link to the FBI but obviously he's on sick leave. I think Cullen wants to know whether you will want to work with him again."

"I just want everything to go back to the way it was Ange, just forget it ever happen," Bones stated. She was unable to call what had happened to her an attack or assault, referring to it as 'it' made it feel less frightening and easier to ignore.

Angela sighed in resignation, she had feared this would happen, that Brennan would just chose to ignore what had happened in the hope that all the anguish and distress it had caused would just go away.

"Oh Bren, do you really think that you can do that? Do you think Booth can do that? We're not talking about a little argument here, don't you think you should speak to someone about it?" bracing herself for the rebuttal she knew would come, Angela bravely continued.

"There are lots of services available for people who have been through what you have sweetie, maybe you should check one out."

Bones body language was all the answer she needed, her back stiffened, her jaw clenched, the shutters slammed shut and were firmly bolted in place.

"Angela, I appreciate your concern, but I'm absolutely fine. I just want to get back to work and put all this behind me," Bones answered, entirely convinced that her work would be all the therapy she needed.

Holding her hands up in defeat, Angela knew she couldn't push the issue, this was one time when the softly softly approach was needed, she just had to plan her tactics a little more carefully.

"Ok Bren, but if you need to talk, you know I'm always here for you don't you?"

Summoning up a small smile for her friend, Bones nodded.

"I know, but I promise I'm ok. So why don't you show me what you've been working on."

Angela turned to leave the office with Brennan following, when there was another knock at the door.

As Angela opened the door, Bones felt her stomach drop.

"Hi Angela," Booth said and then looked up.

As Bones' and Booths' eyes locked, Angela felt the hairs on her neck stand on end and swore she could hear the crackle of electricity pass between them, at that moment she decided to leave.

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**A/N**** I feel really cheeky asking for reviews – but it will help me know whether people want the story to continue – so please hit that button!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hi everyone. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I'm so grateful to all of you who have chosen to stick with the story**. **You guys are the greatest!  
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**Part 16**

Time stopped as their eyes locked, neither quite sure of what to say or where to begin.

Temperance felt as though her heart was trying to escape her chest so hard was it hammering, although she wasn't sure why. She wasn't frightened or shocked to see him, but her body seemed to react entirely of its own will in response to his proximity. That did scare her a little though, control was imperative for her, control of her emotions, control of her feelings, control even of how she responded in given situations. It seemed control was something she struggled with at the moment, but it was the thing she was most desperate to regain.

"Can I come in?" Booth asked quietly.

Her voice deserting her, Tempe nodded in response.

Neither spoke, and for once in her life Bones felt she needed to fill the awkward silence in the room.

"How are you feeling Booth?" she asked.

Booth smiled, it should be him asking that question of her.

"I'm good Bones, thanks. Saw the doc this morning, everything's just fine; gotta take it easy for a while longer but I should be able to return to work next week."

And there it was; the as yet unspoken question between them. Deciding not to put it off any longer, Booth jumped straight in.

"Do you still want me to be your partner Bones?" he asked fearfully, terrified of the answer he would be given.

That question had tortured him for the past few weeks, he felt he had no right to even ask it given what he had done; but he couldn't bear it any longer, he couldn't imagine not working with 'his Bones' any more. She was the most stubborn, determined, insufferable woman he had ever met, but she was also the most dedicated, loyal and honourable person he knew. He loved the way she challenged him, stood up to him, and gave as good as she got when dealing with suspects. He looked forward to seeing her in the mornings, he enjoyed their late night talks over a take out, he loved the way her amazing blue eyes sparkled when she was excited and flashed when she was angry, he loved the way she scrunched her forehead and turned her head to the side when she was confused or trying to figure something out. Who was he kidding, he loved her full stop, and he had known it for a while even while not knowing her feelings for him. Awareness of how he had hurt her was agony for him, he would give his life to protect her; he just hoped she knew that.

Holding his breath he waited for her response.

Temperance could see the pain and worry Booth was feeling, she had learned to read him well over the last couple of years, probably more so than anyone else she knew. She quickly put his mind at rest.

"I don't want a new partner Booth," she answered honestly. However, the box of unwanted emotions in her mind was firmly sealed, her way of dealing with her fear and pain was to ignore it, pretend it wasn't there and never give it the opportunity to show itself. She could do that, she was an expert at it, a seasoned veteran. They could work together again, no problem, and the best way to do that was to be professional, proficient and business like. Taking a deep breath she shut down any residual emotions and became Doctor Temperance Brennan, respected forensic anthropologist, cool, professional and impersonal.

"I'm confident that our professionalism will enable us to both move on and work together competently," she stated in true Doctor Brennan style.

Booth's shoulders sagged in defeat, his heart falling to his toes. He should have known she would do this, this was her M.O., anything difficult or painful is compartmentalised, hidden and tucked away behind those impenetrable walls. It felt as though he had just travelled back in time, to their early days of working together, when she was totally indifferent to him, always keeping him at arms length.

Well she could try but he wasn't willing to give up so easily.

"Oh come on Bones, this is me you're talking to. I know how much I hurt you, but I thought we we're friends, please don't shut me out, can't we at least talk about this?" he asked, determined not to let himself plead with her.

"There's nothing to talk about Booth, I just want to get back to work and put all this behind me. I don't need to talk about it, how is reliving it going to help?"

"I just thought that as you want us to carry on working together that talking about what happened might help, like I said, I thought we were friends!" Booth was dismayed to hear the unwanted pleading tone his voice had taken.

Tempe was getting annoyed now, why did everyone feel the need to 'talk about their feelings?' It didn't change anything; she just wanted to be left alone and allowed to get back to her work.

"We're colleagues Booth, work partners who socialised occasionally; but I really think that we should just get back to work, back to what we do best," she stated, resolute in her determination to prove that she was right.

Taking a step towards her, Booth clenched his jaw preparing himself for the battle he knew was coming.

"Well Bones I'm sorry to tell you this but you're going to have to talk about it. Cullen has insisted that unless you to talk to the shrink, there is no way that he is going to let us work together again."

The effect was immediate: Tempe launched into full defensive mode, eyes blazing with anger, fists clenched, her voice rising with total indignation.

"How dare he," she yelled, stepping forward and raising her hands, "who the hell does he think he is? He can't order me to do anything; I don't work for him, the arrogant bastard."

Booth sighed, he had hoped it wouldn't come to this but he should have known better. Bones hated psychology, stating many times that it held no credence, but he had often wondered whether her resistance was due to the fear of how she might react if she ever had to face the damage her past had caused to her psyche. Looking into her blazing blue eyes, he tried to convey his plea.

"Bones, he is just trying to help. I'm seeing the shrink as well, I went yesterday he's a nice guy, a little odd but ok. Just give it a go, please," he asked again, hoping she'd see sense.

"No way forget it Booth," Tempe stated resolutely, "I don't need to speak to anyone, I've told you I just want to get back to work, I'm absolutely fine."

Booth was now pissed off, Cullen had been absolutely unyielding in this condition of their continued partnership, if Bones didn't agree then he would have to be reassigned. Feeling his body reacting to his aggravation, he raised his arm to run his fingers through his hair in frustration.

However, as he quickly brought his arm up, Bones' eyes suddenly widened in fear. Gasping with shock she hurriedly stepped back, catching her heel on the carpet and stumbling backwards. Booth watched in horror as she tried to stop herself from falling by trying to grab the side of her desk, instead landing awkwardly on her hand he heard the crack of bone breaking and the cry of pain that flew unbidden from her lips. He tried to catch her but so unexpected was her reaction that it had caught him totally off guard. His stomach lurched as he rushed forward to help, alarmed at the instant pallor of her anguished face. Pain flashed through him, razor sharp and devastating as he realised that she had been scared, of him.

"Oh my god, Bones are you alright," he cried, rushing forward to help her.

Gritting her teeth against the agonising pain in her wrist, Tempe managed to hiss a response.

"No Booth I'm not, I think I've broken my left radius."

Booth crouched next to Bones and reached to help her to her feet, but she quickly turned away from him.

"I'm fine Booth, I don't need your help," Temperance stated coldly, cradling her injured arm and carefully climbing to her feet.

Booth had to blink back tears, that had hurt, her utter rejection of his help when she was obviously in pain had seared his heart; her complete rejection of him was shattering, she wouldn't meet his eye, inspecting her damaged wrist cautiously.

"I'll get Angela," he gasped.

Unable to bear her dismissal any longer, he fled her office.

Sinking onto her couch, Bones was overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment. The pain in her wrist was almost welcome compared to the disbelief at her own body's betrayal. She knew Booth wasn't about to hit her, she had seen him run his hands through his hair countless times and she had known that was what he was about to do. But her body had dismissed her thoughts and reacted without her consent, and the shock of that realisation overwhelmed her. If she couldn't even control her own body's responses to Booth, how the hell could she ever work with him again?

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**A/N: Apologies if this seems a little repetitive, I really want to convey the impact this situation is having on B&B while staying true to both their characters and the realism of the situation. I think a little denial is to be expected for Bones, and is needed for healing to begin.**

**Besides as I've said I'm an angst junkie - and I make no apologies for it!**

**Please review, the weather in the UK is the absolute pits at the moment and I'm a real sun worshipper, it's driving me crazy so I need all the help I can get!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hi again from the soggy UK! It has rained all day again today :-(**

**A quick update as I was off work this morning, not a long one but necessary for the story.**

**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, you make the frustration of spending 10 minutes thinking of just the right word, all worthwhile. **

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Part 17

He had decided to stay away, it had been a week since Bones had broken her wrist and in that time Booth hadn't seen or spoken to her. She hadn't tried to contact him either, if it wasn't for Angela he wouldn't have a clue as to how she was. The break to her wrist had been straight forward fortunately, four to six weeks in plaster, which Angela informed him was causing Bones more inconvenience than pain. Angela had also informed him that Bones was still unwavering in her assertion that she was not going to speak to anyone about what had happened. When Ange had questioned her about the fall that had caused her broken wrist, Bones had insisted that Booth had just startled her and she had tripped.

He didn't know what to do. He thought about trying to talk to her again, but he had to admit to himself that he was scared. Scared of how she would respond. Her reaction to his innocent movement had shocked him, and he re-lived the moment over and over, replacing one painful memory with another. Her rejection of him had been unbelievably painful, before this mess they had finally reached a point in their relationship where she reached for him when she was hurting. Hugs had almost become common place, she had even opened up to him a couple of times about her past; but all that had been destroyed in one short evening, in the space of a few hours his life had changed completely.

Talking to Dr Wyatt had helped, once he got past the guy's annoying English eccentricities he turned out to be amazingly insightful, almost frighteningly so; seeing right through his detached persona to his real feelings for his partner. He hadn't however, given any miracle resolution for his situation, stating that Doctor Brennan had to make a choice as to how she would deal with her trauma. He had also put to rest a constant nagging fear that Booth had been trying to ignore over the past few weeks. This fear had often tortured him late in the night when he would awaken sweating and gasping after yet another horrifying nightmare, the daytime flashbacks had all but ceased but in his sleep he had had no such release. Lying there, trying to calm his breathing he had often wondered whether he had attacked Bones because some small part of him, a part that was buried far inside of him, wanted to do it. Had he wanted to hurt and dominate her, had he enjoyed her pain and humiliation, in the unbearable clarity of his recollection that was exactly how he had felt. Maybe he was like that after all?

Fortunately good old Gordon Gordon had allayed that fear before Booth had even mentioned it. Stating that a brain injury could cause huge personality and character changes and even on occasion psychotic behaviour, he had added that Booth should be grateful that he had escaped any permanent brain damage. Booth had desperately needed to hear those words; they had enabled him to once again trust himself and his instincts. He was a protector, he would never willingly hurt Bones and he had finally been able to begin the journey to self forgiveness, his first decent nights sleep had been a testament to this.

Tomorrow he was returning to work, and Cullen would be expecting an answer as to his continued link with the Jeffersonian. At this moment in time, he felt he had no other choice other than to ask for reassignment. He didn't want to do it; he couldn't imagine not seeing the squint squad on a regular basis, not to mention coping with the pain of not seeing his beautiful, genius partner almost everyday. He had to stop that, she wouldn't be his partner anymore; wouldn't be 'his Bones' any longer, and the knowledge of that shattered his heart.

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Later that day Bones once more cursed her cumbersome left arm, it made the delicate task of examining fragile bones almost impossible. Fortunately she was a fast healer and the last time she had broken her wrist whilst in New Orleans, it had healed remarkably quickly. She just hoped the same would be true this time. Thinking back to the day it had happened – was it just a week ago? - Bones once again felt humiliation wash over her. Her reaction to Booth's harmless action had shocked her deeply. She was an expert in many martial arts, had defended herself easily against numerous attacks; and yet Booth had just raised his arm and she had jumped away like a scared child. Every time she thought about it she became angry, she was so sick of feeling out of control, sick of feeling helpless and scared. Her nightmares had increased again, the sleeping tablets no longer effective; fortunately her lip had healed although the scar would take longer to fade, especially now that she seemed to have developed an annoying habit of gnawing on it whenever she was anxious, which at the moment seemed to be most of the time. For once in her life Tempe felt as though burying her feelings and immersing herself in her work was not helping, she was so tired that most of the time she couldn't concentrate. Not to mention the constant ache from her wrist which made her more irritable and miserable. Maybe, just maybe Booth and Angela were right, maybe she should speak to someone; even though admitting that even to herself felt as though she was betraying her own beliefs and values, the things that were most important to her, but which had been tested to the extreme over the past few weeks.

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Watching her friend from across the lab, Angela was overwhelmed by sadness. Brennan had completely closed herself off, shutting out everyone, even her. It hurt, but she should have known it would happen, as long as she had known Brennan she was never one for talking about her feelings. Most of the time Angela respected that, she knew that the strong, confident image she portrayed maybe accurate for her professional persona, but underneath all that Bren was insecure and vulnerable, especially now.

Watching as Brennan hissed in pain as she knocked her injured hand on the table, tears of frustration sprung to her eyes. Bren would not accept any help and venomously lashed out at anyone who offered. As a consequence there was an unspoken exclusion zone around her, her colleagues no longer seeking her out for advice or explanation of their work. It was ridiculous; she was watching her best friend slowly self destructing, she didn't eat and obviously wasn't sleeping judging by the dark rings around her eyes; she was always first to arrive and last to leave the lab – on those rare occasions when she actually went home. This morning had brought more distressing news; Cullen had informed Cam that Booth would no longer be working with them as Brennan's refusal to see the psychiatrist had led to him being reassigned. What a complete mess! Angela knew the only way her friend was going to heal from this experience was to talk about it and deal with it; scream, shout, get upset and angry like any normal human being!

Well enough was enough, she refused to be compliant any longer, if her friend wouldn't fight for herself then she would damn well do it for her. Marching across the lab, Angela quickly swiped her card and flew up the stairs to Brennan's side watching as her eyes widened in alarm.

"Angela, what's wrong?" Bones asked, unsure she wanted to hear the answer.

Grabbing Bren's uninjured arm, Angela steered her away from the table.

Surprised and caught off guard by Angela's behaviour, Bones obediently followed before coming to her senses.

"Angela what the hell are you doing?" she asked indignantly.

Refusing to back down, Angela replied, "you, me, your office, NOW!"

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**A/N: To all of you who have requested fluff and a happy ending - I'm sorry but you'll have to wait and see. I will say though, that there is more angst to come and good things come to those who wait ;-)**

**Please review - I love it!**


	18. Chapter 18

A/N Hi everyone. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who offered words of support after the note I posted, you are all very kind and incredibly supportive. This is a short update to keep the story moving and let you know I'm back on track!

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Part 18

Angela and her charge stumbled into Bones' office, Brennan cursing and swearing under her breath every step of the way. As soon as the door closed offering some relative privacy, Bones wrenched her arm from Angela's grasp and turned to face her. Her eyes were blazing with fury and Angela had to admit she felt very intimidated, even a little scared.

"Ok Angela, just what the hell is this all about? How dare you drag me across the lab like that, I am your superior in case you've forgotten," Bones spat, her anger evident in every aspect of her demeanour.

Refusing to rise to the bait, even though the 'superior' comment had stung - Brennan had never resorted to that before, Angela took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. She felt as though she were walking a tightrope, she would either reach her destination safely or fall crashing to the ground; but first she had to try and calm her friend down.

"Because I love you, and only want the best for you I'm going to play the concerned best friend card here in the hope that you don't kick my ass for what I just did," Angela stated.

"What the hell does that mean?" Brennan asked, it had had the desired effect though as her confusion had soothed her anger slightly.

"It means that you should know that as your friend I wouldn't usually ever behave that way, and the fact that I did must also mean that I have a good reason," Angela replied, now a little mixed up herself.

Bones was still confused and angry, she couldn't believe Angela had just done that and she refused to even contemplate the reasons why she had done it.

"I still don't understand what you mean Angela, but you better have a damn good reason," Tempe stated.

Resigned to the fact that this wasn't going to be easy, Angela began her plea.

"First of all Bren will you come and sit on the couch with me please?"

Looking at Angela suspiciously Bones reluctantly complied, she now had an idea of where this was going and she was fairly certain she wasn't going to like it; unfortunately Angela was a difficult person to say no to.

Sitting next to her friend and 'superior', Angela turned to face her.

"Sweetie, can you promise me something?" she asked using her eyes to convey the desperation she felt.

"What?" Bones asked, her instincts now screaming that this conversation was going to be very uncomfortable.

"Please promise that you'll be honest with me?" Angela asked hopefully.

Bren slumped back into the couch; she really wasn't going to like this. All she wanted to do was stand up and walk away, but she knew that Angela would just drag her back in; and even though she had just 'pulled rank' on Angela, she would never use her position as a way of getting back at her friend. So Bones reluctantly resigned herself to answering Angela's questions, albeit as evasively as possible.

"Ok," she whispered, refusing to look Angela in the eye.

"Ok what?" Angela asked again, refusing to give Brennan a get out clause.

"I promise to be honest," she said, feeling like a petulant child.

"Thank you, please just remember sweetie that I'm only doing this because I'm your friend and I care about you."

Bones only response was to nod.

"Ok," Angela began, "tell me Bren, are you happy?"

Tempe's head shot up, her eyes piercing into Angela's; she hadn't been expecting that question. Thinking quickly, her sharp brain sought an answer that wouldn't give too much away.

"Well I love my work, and my writing gives me great pleasure and fulfilment," she stated.

Prepared for just such an answer Angela responded, "that's not what I asked sweetie."

Once again Tempe slumped in her seat and looked at the floor, "no, not really," she whispered.

Tentatively relieved to get an honest answer, Angela continued.

"When was the last time you ate anything?" she asked.

Bones had to think about that and was slightly alarmed to realise that she couldn't remember.

"I don't remember," she stated dejectedly feeling defeated and embarrassed.

"And what about sleep, are you getting any?"

"Am I being interrogated here Angela?" Bones asked beginning to get defensive.

"You promised to be honest," Angela responded also giving Bren her best puppy dog eyes knowing that even her stoic best friend couldn't resist.

Admitting she was beaten Bones' shoulders sagged, "ok I haven't been sleeping either," she admitted, choosing however to leave out the fact that her nightmares had returned with a vengeance.

Taking Bren's uninjured hand in her own, Angela chose to fall on the reliable servant of emotional blackmail in order to get the response she wanted. Taking a deep breath she began.

"I know you're hurting sweetie but I just want to tell you how much you're hurting the people that care for you," Brennan appeared to shrink before her eyes at that comment and Ange immediately felt guilty. Tempe wasn't a person who believed others cared for her; valued her intellect and professional skills yes, but truly cared for her as a person and worried about her, she didn't feel worthy of such loyalty feeling that she gave little to deserve it.

"You know I love you don't you?" Ange asked, watching as Bren squirmed in discomfort and refused to make eye contact.

"I suppose so," she mumbled in response, not at all resembling the strong confident doctor she usually portrayed.

"Well I do, and so do plenty of other people."

Tempe's eyes rose slightly at that statement, confusion evident in her expression.

"Yes Bren, I know you think that your only value is your knowledge and skills as an anthropologist, but believe it or not you are also a nice person. You're loyal and honest, you can be fun in your own quirky way and I know how much we all mean to you, even though you believe that you hide it completely. Jack has been completely torn up by all this, he wanted to kill Booth at first and I really mean kill him, even though Booth would have killed him first," Angela smiled at that thought knowing that Booth would have laid Jack flat with one punch.

Noticing that Bren's eyes looked slightly misty, Angela gave her hand a gentle squeeze and continued.

"Zach has called me every night since this happened; he has been so hard on himself because he doesn't know how to help you. He is the only person I know who is more socially uncomfortable than you, but he has never stopped trying Bren, he's searched the internet, found websites, support groups, therapists, anything he could to try and help you, but he has no idea how to talk to you about it, none of us do sweetie. We all desperately want to help you, but it feels as though all you want to do is push us away as though we mean nothing to you. Well that hurts Bren, you can't carry on like this, if you don't want to help yourself then at least do it for the people around you." Angela pushed aside the guilt she felt at probably making her friend feel worse, but enough was enough, the softly softly approach hadn't worked so now it was time for some tough love!

Tempe was torn between angry indignation at Angela's words, and utter devastation at her own unfair behaviour towards her friends. She knew Angela spoke the truth, but she was angry with her for throwing it in her face, but then the phrase 'don't shoot the messenger' came to mind and she knew Angela was just acting as a friend and had her best interests at heart.

"I just don't know what to do," Bones whispered, the confusion and desperation of her situation overwhelming her, she felt defeated, worn out and completely out of her depth.

"Just tell me what you want sweetie," Ange asked, desperately trying to convey her love and support for her friend in her expressive eyes.

Looking into Angela's concerned features; Temperance felt something break inside her. The unbearable pressure and pain that had been her constant adversary for so long felt as though it had lightened a little as the familiar prick of tears sprang to her eyes, and she finally let go of all her resistance opening her soul to her best friend and giving voice to everything she had held so tightly for so long.

"All I really want Ange is to feel safe again. To be able to get through the night without constant nightmares, to be able to eat without feeling nauseous, to feel confident in my work again, to feel like me again." Brennan tried to hold it back but she knew the dam was breaking and now that she had relinquished control, the surge of emotion burst through her defensives with all the power of a tsunami as a huge and painful cry tore from her throat.

Reaching for Bones, Angela held her tightly as she finally broke down and sobbed out all her fear, shame and confusion. Stroking Bren's hair it wasn't long before Angela's tears joined those of her friend; gently rocking them both Ange whispered soothing promises.

"It's alright sweetie, we'll work it out, it'll be ok," and as she softly uttered the words she hoped and prayed that they were true and that Brennan had taken the first small and painful step towards getting her life back.

* * *

A/N I know that's not my best work but I had written half of this chapter months ago then finished it tonight, so it didn't flow as well as I'd have liked. However, future chapters will be better and as always more angst to come - joy!!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Hi everyone, a quick update and thanks once more for your fantastic words of encouragement, both to the faithful readers who have stuck with this story from the start, and the new readers who have added their thoughts. You guys are the best.

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Part 19

The storm had passed but the desolate feeling of despair had settled in the room. Angela still sat with her arms tightly holding her friend, but little remained of the confident, self assured doctor; Brennan had literally dissolved in her arms, the intensity of her breakdown frightened Angela and she had briefly wondered whether she had done the right thing in forcing Bren to face her demons. But Angela knew it had to be done, if it meant that Bren had to hit rock bottom to claw her way back up, then so be it!

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternally long wait, Brennan lifted her head and her eyes locked with Angela's. Although Ange had known her friend for number of years, she felt as though she was only just seeing her for the first time; really seeing her. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and that's what Angela was seeing now, Brennan's soul, and the intense vulnerability and sorrow she saw there shattered her heart to a thousand pieces. Now she understood, understood the reasons why Bren held everyone at arms length, understood the reasons why she appeared cold and distant, understood just how much pain Booth's actions had inflicted; and she was both humbled and awed by the knowledge.

Angela was captivated by the intensity of Bren's gaze and she was unable to turn away, so taking a deep breath she held her eyes and whispered, "Please Temperance get some help, I feel like I'm losing you and it's breaking my heart."

Without saying a word, Bones gave the briefest nod of agreement, and so it began; recovery.

* * *

Bones was true to her actions, later that day she rang Gordon Wyatt and arranged an appointment for the following day. Angela had told her about Booth's impending reassignment and the news had caused another moment of panic, although this time for an entirely different reason; she didn't want to lose him as her partner, but she was glad she had made the decision to speak to the psychiatrist before she had heard. At least she knew the decision was her own and not a reaction to the news.

Breaking down in front of Angela hadn't been the embarrassing experience Bones had always thought it would be. Not that she had ever imagined such a scenario, but she had always viewed tears as a weakness; not others' tears, only her own. Secretly she had always envied people who openly expressed their feelings and emotions, they seemed to be happier people; Angela for example, she was such an open book, you knew instantly if she was upset, angry, frustrated, excited or full of joy, and people were drawn to her like bees to a honey pot. Angela always seemed so sure of herself, happy and at ease, and though she would never admit it, Bones would love to have just a little of that spirit and passion for something other than her job.

So now she found herself once more dreading the following day, she knew she had to do it but that didn't make it any easier, as she had told Booth over and over she didn't hold much credence in psychology and she was terrified of exposing herself and if possible, feeling more defenceless than she already did. A tiny part of her held a little spark of hope that it might just help, but that spark was quickly dimmed when she thought about once more reliving the horror of Booth's assault, and all the fear and pain came rushing back, along with the humiliation of having to talk about it with a complete stranger.

* * *

Gordon Wyatt was nothing like she expected, although she wasn't quite sure what she had expected; possibly an elderly bespectacled man, but not the lively and jovial gentleman he clearly was and Brennan found herself uncharacteristically drawn to him. He hadn't interrogated her, or even quizzed her current mental state but had instead questioned her about her work and had genuinely appeared to be fascinated by her responses. She knew he was attempting to gain her trust and put her at ease and Tempe almost resented the fact that he was succeeding!

The first session had passed quickly and now Brennan found herself once more sitting in Wyatt's office, for a second time anxiously wondering where the discussion would lead. This time though she felt a little frustrated and decided to take the initiative.

"Aren't you going to ask me about what happened with Booth?" she asked impatiently.

"Why would I do that?" Wyatt responded cryptically.

"Isn't that why I'm here?" she queried feeling a little confused.

"I don't know, is it?" Wyatt answered.

"You see this is why I hate psychology, you answer a question with a question hoping that I will open up and talk about my problems, but that won't work with me Doctor Wyatt, I'm not an idiot, I know exactly what you are doing," Bones stated, her confusion rapidly changing to frustration.

"Look Doctor Brennan, I won't insult your intelligence by lying to you. These sessions are whatever you want them to be, we can sit here in silence for an hour if that's what you want, but what do you want Doctor Brennan? Please tell me."

Bones pursed her lips in annoyance, there were so many other things she could be doing right now, like working or writing, or ………… working. Realising that she didn't have much else in her life and hadn't for a long time, Bones relented and gave voice to the desperation that had caused her to seek answers from an ethos she refused to hold confidence in.

"I want my life back," she answered dejectedly, embarrassed at having to admit such a personal thing. Holding Wyatt's attention Bones added, "Please tell me, how do I do that?"

"That is not a question I can answer Doctor Brennan, only you can. But tell me something, why is so important for you to be in control all the time?" Wyatt asked.

"What do you mean?" Bones answered.

"You strike me as someone who has a done everything they can to ensure that there life follows a specific path, you don't like to deviate from that path. Tell me Doctor Brennan, what would happen if one day you lost your way and found yourself in an unfamiliar landscape?"

"That's where I am now," Bones whispered, taken aback by Wyatt's accurate analogy, "and I don't know what to do."

"Then answer my question, why do you always feel the need to be in control?"

Realising that she had no choice but to discuss an extremely painful part of her life, Brennan found her resolve and began.

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Hi everyone, once more many thanks for the great reviews, really glad you're still enjoying the story.

Please note that this chapter picks up exactly where the last one ended.

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Part 20 

"I'm assuming you've read my file and know about my childhood?" Bones asked.

Wyatt chose not to respond verbally and instead nodded slowly.

Closing her eyes Bones felt the familiar stirrings of anxiety and grief, emotions that always surfaced when recalling the terrible circumstances of her mid teens.

"I suppose you could say I had a fairly normal childhood, or so it seemed at the time. I was never a popular child, I was academic, bookish and awkward, I suppose what Booth would call a geek, but I didn't care because I would go home and my parents would always be interested in me and what I had learnt that day. They were my comfort and protection, especially my mom, she would always tell me I was better than those bullies because I would make something of my life and be smart and successful. Russ took care of me in school, he was my cool big brother; no one could believe he was my brother because we were so different, I was quiet and shy, whereas he was outgoing and popular, but he always looked out for me and was never embarrassed by me. My family didn't care that I was fascinated by bones and skeletons, they didn't call me a freak, or mock my intelligence; ………………………………….. and then one day they were gone, first mom and dad and then Russ, and my whole life fell apart. I was completely alone."

Bones paused as the memory of the worst time of her life came flooding back.

"Do you know that I even lived in the family home for a month before a neighbour got suspicious and rang social services? Every day I kept up the pretence, going to school every morning, going shopping using my savings, keeping the house clean and tidy, so that when they came back everything would be ok, as though nothing had happened. Then one day a police officer knocked on the door and asked to speak to my parents, it was the first time anyone had asked about them and I completely broke down. The next thing I knew I was being interrogated by the police and a social worker was telling me that she would find me a new family. A **new family, **I didn't want a new family I just wanted **my** family to come back. Have you any idea how difficult it is to find a foster family for a fifteen year old?"

Bones didn't wait for an answer, she had never discussed this with anybody before and now she had started her absolution the words came easily.

Doctor Wyatt sat in quiet observation; his years of training and expertise had instilled in him the knowledge of when to take a step backward.

Bones continued, her memories resurfacing in painful clarity.

"It's almost impossible; most foster carers want babies or cute pre-schoolers, not difficult adolescent trouble makers. So I went straight to a children's home, except there were no children there, just a group of angry damaged people whose childhood had been taken from them. They were all old beyond their years and hardened to the point of being unable to express any emotion other than hate and distrust. Therefore I became like them, just to be able to survive in such a hostile environment. Inside I was screaming, grieving and desperately angry with my family for abandoning me; but at the same time I would rebuke myself because at least I'd had a loving family, which is much more than some of those poor kids had had, some of them had suffered years of abuse and endured more than I could comprehend at that age.

At that point my childhood ended as well, I shut down and quickly learned to repress any pain, fear or sadness I felt, to stay in control and never let anybody know what I was feeling. Eventually they found a home for me, decent people who believed they were doing their 'social duty' by caring for an abandoned child; they supported me through the rest of my studies, which was the only thing that gave me any sense of achievement or security. I lived with them until I went to university, but I never really settled, it's very difficult to trust anyone when the people who are supposed to love you and care for you most just abandon you; so I was always guarded and distant. Even at university I struggled to fit in socially, most of the students wanted to party and get drunk, but I just wanted to study and graduate early; so I was alone again. But by then I was so adept at controlling my emotions that I didn't know how to be any other way, I still don't, and to make sure I was never in a situation of such chaos again, I planned my life and future to follow the exact path I wanted it to, and that's what I had been doing, …………….. right up until I met Booth."

Bones stopped talking; she now knew that when she and Booth had become work partners her life had followed a different path. She had allowed him do what she had told herself she would never let anyone do, she had started to rely on him, depend on **him **to watch over her and keep her safe. It had happened so gradually she had barely even noticed, but now it was clear that for the first time since her parents had left she had truly trusted someone.

"Why did Booth change your path Doctor Brennan," Wyatt asked quietly.

"He challenged me, questioned my actions, made me rethink my behaviour and consequently he made me start to feel again," Bones replied.

"And was that a good thing?"

"I don't know really," Bones answered, she was still confused and overwhelmed by her feelings for her partner, but there were some things she couldn't deny, no matter how much she wanted to.

"I suppose it was good, I was happier, although I'm not sure why," Bones responded cryptically.

Doctor Wyatt attempted to surmise her feelings, "so if I'm correct Doctor Brennan, Agent Booth was the first person to awaken emotions you have suppressed since you were a child, who altered your life from its 'grand plan', who enabled you to relinquish some of the control you so desperately cling to, and you actually felt happier?"

Bones gasped of the full impact of this statement struck her. She **had**been happier and it **was** due to the fact that she had relinquished some control, emotionally relied on someone else for the first time since her childhood.

Recognising that he was not going to get an answer, Wyatt continued, "so Booth changed your perception of your life, you trusted him and to an extent depended on him………………..and then there was his injury and his subsequent behaviour."

Bones was still reeling from the earlier revelation but the psychiatrist's statement brought her crashing back to the reason why she was here in the first place. Unable to respond with anything other than a slight nod, Tempe plucked at the frayed webbing of her plaster cast.

Observing the nervous behaviour of his patient, Wyatt knew that Bones was feeling apprehensive, but he also believed that she was beginning to understand her feelings.

"I suspect Doctor Brennan that you feel betrayed by Agent Booth's actions, that the trust you placed in him was abused and all the feelings you have suppressed from your childhood compounded by the shock of your assault have left you feeling very vulnerable and frightened; feelings that once more remind you of the time when you were abandoned as a child. Am I correct?"

Temperance blinked rapidly as her eyes filled with tears; that's exactly how she felt, Booth had let her down. Even though she was fully aware that he had had not done it deliberately his actions still felt like a betrayal, a rebuttal of her absolute faith in him. Swiping impatiently at her cheek as a lone tear escaped, Bones was embarrassed to feel the now familiar tightening and ache of her throat as the threat of a sob beckoned, and she was alarmed as she realised she was unable to stop it. Leaning forward, Temperance buried her face in her hands and let go as a torrent of tears engulfed her. Control was abandoned as painful sobs wracked her whole body and once more she gave in to the pain and fear.

But this time she wasn't alone.

* * *

A/N: Don't worry, I've not forgotten about Booth, he'll be along soon-ish!

BTW what did you think of the kiss? I was a bit disappointed, wanted more tongues!! But Booth's 'reeling' was priceless ;-)


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hi everyone, sorry for the delay but I have been so busy, not had time to draw breath! Hope those of you who celebrate had a lovely Christmas.**

**This is just a short one so you know I haven't forgotten about the story, and thanks again for all the great reviews. **

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Part 21

Booth was pacing. Pacing was good, pacing he could do, it was easy, straightforward, didn't require any thought. It's a pity that the rest of my life isn't so simple, he thought to himself as he wore a hole in the carpet outside Gordon Gordon's office. Wyatt's secretary glanced at him with a sympathetic, yet slightly annoyed expression and he marvelled at how she could express two completely contrasting emotions in one look.

He was really sick of all this waiting, he felt as though he had spent the last couple of months waiting for exactly this point in time. The time when he would see Bones again and know once and for all whether his life was going to go back to how it had been before all this started; but was that even possible? He wasn't a fool; he knew things could never be the same between them again, two people couldn't experience such a traumatic event and not be forever changed by it, but maybe they could at least find a compromise, some way to move on and regain the solid foundation of their…………………………..what? Friendship? Relationship? Partnership? – is that even a word, Booth pondered. His feelings for Bones were almost indefinable, were they friends? Colleagues? More?

If anything, the time spent away from Bones had only served to further confuse his feelings for her. He had missed her terribly, she was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and as he always fell asleep with her consuming his thoughts, he often dreamt about her as well. Even when working and completely engrossed in his case files, she would still invade his mind, and the time spent worrying about her and wondering how she was, was driving him crazy. When he received the phone call from Wyatt yesterday asking him to come today, he had been relieved to at least know he would finally have some resolution to his constant questioning of Bones' state of mind.

Booth knew Bones was already here, the secretary didn't need to tell him; he had caught the subtle fragrance of her perfume as soon as he walked in and he was amazed at this considering the powerful scent of whatever it was that the secretary was wearing. Once again he cursed himself for being so hyper-sensitive to Bones presence, feeling as though he had no control over his reaction to her. The psychiatrist had been annoyingly vague on the phone; he had just stated that Doctor Brennan had requested that Booth attend for part of her appointment today; that was it! And now he was left wondering again! Wondering whether this was it and his work with Bones would never be restated or whether it would be the complete opposite and they would once more be fighting the bad guys together. All he knew for sure was that if the door to Wyatt's office didn't open soon, he was going to explode!

* * *

In Wyatt's office, Tempe was feeling similarly anxious; she knew Booth was here, she recognised his footsteps wearing down the rug outside the door and she questioned herself as to when she had become so attuned to his proximity to her. She was so distracted that she was struggling to listen to what Doctor Wyatt was saying to her. Fortunately the astute psychiatrist was well aware of this and questioned her demeanour.

"Doctor Brennan, I can see you are distracted and I'm assuming it is due to Agent Booth's attendance at the session today, am I correct?"

The usually articulate forensic anthropologist just nodded in response, her attention now solely focussed on the door.

"Do you want me to ask him to join us now?" Doctor Wyatt asked.

Bones head whipped round in reaction to the question.

"No, no, not yet," she replied quickly, her heart pounding suddenly in her chest, "I'm not ready," she added.

Sensing her distress, Gordon softened his tone.

"Temperance," he said softly, the use of her first name refocusing her attention completely, "what is it that you are afraid of?" he asked.

Clenching her fists in an attempt to stop her hands from shaking, Tempe blinked back tears as she spoke, "I'm afraid of letting him down," she whispered. Usually she would feel shame at mentioning such a weakness, but over the last few weeks Doctor Wyatt had become someone she trusted, an irony which was not lost on her considering her previous loathing of all things of a psychological nature.

"And how do you think you will let him down?" he asked.

Temperance thought for a minute before responding.

"I don't want to be frightened of him anymore, I know how much it upset him when I broke my wrist; even though it wasn't his fault I know he blamed himself for it. I just want him to know that I do trust him and that he can rely on me to do my job, that I'm not going to turn into a snivelling wreck again."

"So you don't want him to see you vulnerable?" Gordon asked.

"Yes," Bones answered definitively.

"Why not?" Wyatt asked again.

"Because that's not who I am," Bones replied, "he wants a partner who is professional, reliable and confident. Not a hysterical woman who is scared of her own shadow."

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh on yourself there Doctor Brennan, and besides how do you now what characteristics Booth wants in a partner? Have you ever asked him?"

"No, but I know Booth, he values professionalism and expertise, not weakness and vulnerability."

Wyatt pondered Bones' answer for a moment.

"I don't think you're giving Agent Booth enough credit for being a sensitive human being, from my experience of talking with him he strikes me as a person who is very astute at understanding the feelings of others and I believe the characteristics he would value most are honesty and integrity, and I really don't think that you need to worry about letting him down Doctor Brennan, I sincerely believe that Agent Booth would forgive you for almost anything."

Scowling with confusion, Temperance questioned what Wyatt was implying by that statement.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Tell me Doctor Brennan, have you and Agent Booth ever spoken about your feelings for each other?" Doctor Wyatt asked, already knowing the answer he would get.

Tempe really didn't want to answer that question, so she responded with the trusted defence of complete denial.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

"Oh come on Doctor Brennan, you're an intelligent woman, don't pretend you don't know exactly what I mean," Gordon stated, this was an area he hadn't yet explored with Doctor Brennan, but he knew that the issues between the forensic anthropologist and the FBI agent may have been resolved much earlier if the feelings between them were only those of two work colleagues. He knew that his comments would unnerve Doctor Brennan but if their reunion was to be a success then she needed to see Agent Booth without a planned response to his presence.

"We work together, how we may or may not feel is irrelevant, we have a job to do," Bones' responded, pleased with herself for giving such a rational explanation.

"I would say your feelings are completely relevant Doctor Brennan, I've already said that I believe Agent Booth values honesty greatly, so if he and his partner are not honest with each other, how can their relationship work?" Wyatt asked.

Bones really couldn't answer that question; she didn't know what to say. Her feelings for Booth were so complex and unsettling that she had never allowed herself to define them, all she knew was that at this moment in time she wanted her partner back, she wasn't willing to think beyond that. But what if Wyatt was right?

While she was still pondering the ramifications of that question, Wyatt decided the time had come to invite Booth into the office.

"I'm going to ask Agent Booth to come in now Doctor Brennan," he stated.

Bones nodded and tried to quell the sudden rush of butterflies in her stomach.

Standing and opening the door, Doctor Wyatt smiled at the person on the other side.

"Agent Booth, welcome, please join us," he invited.

Stepping into the room, brown eyes locked with blue and everything else faded into insignificance.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the cliffie, but I had to throw another one in before the end. Not long to go now and I promise the next chapter will be longer and very interesting... ;-)**


	22. Chapter 22

Part 22

Wyatt wasn't accustomed to feeling invisible, he was a man whose presence usually commanded attention from any audience, be it one of his patients or a lecture hall full of students; however at this particular moment he was unseen. The psychiatrist believed he knew exactly how the two people currently sharing his office felt about each other, but even he had underestimated the depth of feeling that had been evident the second the FBI agent had stepped into the room. The instant change in the atmosphere of the room was so complex that Wyatt believed he could write an award-winning article about it in any medical journal and still not accurately reflect the true nature of its intricacies.

Doctor Brennan and Agent Booth were completely motionless, eyes wide and fixed on each other. Doctor Wyatt deliberately stayed silent and took the opportunity to observe the unspoken language that was currently flowing between them. Doctor Brennan was rigid in her seat, back ramrod straight and muscles taught as though preparing to flee, however her eyes were sorrowful and slightly questioning as though seeking reassurance. Whilst Agent Booth was not quite as uneasy, his expression conveyed just as much emotion and Wyatt was now in no doubt of Booth's feelings for his partner.

As Wyatt politely cleared his throat, he was amused to see the sudden startled change in expression as both sets of eyes quickly turned towards him and tried to cover their embarrassment.

"Agent Booth, please take a seat," he said, watching as Booth frantically scanned the office for anywhere else to sit other then joining Brennan on the couch; however as it was the only available seat he had little choice and carefully joined her whilst desperately trying not to make any kind of physical contact. Wyatt watched in fascination as a look of both relief and pain registered in Dr Brennan's expressive eyes.

Both of them now looked towards Dr Wyatt and he was amused to see the same expectant look of desperation on their faces, as though he held the magic spell that would instantly resolve all their fears and restore their hope. If only it were that easy, he thought to himself.

Clearing his throat Wyatt sat down and smiled, trying to relieve the thick tension that had invaded the room along with Agent Booth's presence.

"Welcome Agent Booth, thank you for joining us," Wyatt said, as though Booth would have been anywhere else, "Doctor Brennan asked that you join us today and begin the process of re-establishing the effective working relationship you had previously. Doctor Brennan has given me permission to discuss the issues involved with you Agent Booth, and I know in previous sessions you have also expressed your desire to inform Doctor Brennan of your own concerns. Can I just reaffirm with both of you that you are willing to discuss any subject I raise with both myself and each other, however difficult that may be?"

Booth and Brennan both looked away and squirmed uncomfortably whilst still making certain not to touch each other. Booth was the first to agree.

"Yeah, ok," he mumbled.

Brennan soon followed though somewhat more assertively, "yes I am willing to discuss any issues that will help us work together again."

Even though he had their word, Wyatt was still unconvinced that the former partners were yet ready to be completely truthful with each other; well, only one way to find out he thought.

"Hmm, I have a bit of a quandary here Agent Booth, Doctor Brennan; whilst I do believe that your previous working relationship can be restored, there is an issue between you that until resolved is going to permanently cause tension and uncertainty between you. However this issue is not something that can be resolved until it is acknowledged."

Pausing, Wyatt noticed the change in expression of both of the people in front of him. Two pairs of eyes, one brown, one blue, both now confused and slightly guarded; sitting so close together, yet with a chasm between them; an abyss of unspoken words, denied feelings and open wounds. Little did they know that only they held the key to the resolution of their crisis, not him, not anyone else! But were they ready to begin this journey?

Impatience was now evident in Agent Booth's eyes, he wanted answers, he wanted a way to fix this and he wanted it now.

"Well Doc, are you going to tell us what this issue is? Or are we supposed to guess?" Booth asked, although he thought he knew exactly what Gordon Gordon was talking about, and that certainty was adding to the tight ball of anxiety residing in his stomach. If Wyatt knew how he felt about Bones, it was going to be as embarrassing as hell to have him tell her right now.

"Ok then here it goes. Any successful relationship is built on trust and honesty; whilst I believe that you both had the former in abundance, I do not believe that you ever truly had the latter. As you both believe, wrongly I might add that Agent Booth's actions have destroyed the trust you both had in each other, until you can be completely honest with each other your relationship is never going to work."

Shocked at the psychiatrists bluntness, Brennan asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, my dear Doctor Brennan that until you both acknowledge how you feel about each other, truly feel about each other, you can go no further."

Silence hung heavily in the air, along with a feeling of anticipation………………..who would be the first to speak and either confirm or deny any 'feelings'.

Booth wasn't sure that he could speak, his throat had suddenly become bone dry and he felt as though the ground had been ferociously yanked from under his feet. He desperately wanted to look at Bones to judge her reaction to Wyatt's statement but his acute embarrassment and discomfort wouldn't let him even glance in her direction.

Bones was also reeling, if she and Booth were to re-establish an effective working relationship, how on earth was discussing feelings going to help? It had been one thing to share her vulnerabilities with a trained professional, but it was something else entirely to discuss it with the person who had been both the cure and cause of some of her anxieties.

Doctor Wyatt sighed; this was going to be even more difficult that he'd anticipated. Brennan and Booth were now both in full 'fight or flight' mode, every muscle tense, every nerve ending humming with anticipation. Maybe it was time to change tactics?

"Ok then, if neither of you are willing to talk to the other, then maybe we should try something else. May I first remind you though, that if this cannot be resolved I will not be recommending that you remain partners, and may I also remind you that whatever is discussed in this room is confidential and will not be shared with anyone else?"

Brennan and Booth both gave a faint nod, their expressions mirroring each other. Wyatt thought that the situation could almost be comical if there wasn't so much at stake.

"Right let's get started then," Wyatt continued. "I'd like you both to stand up please."

Wyatt watched as they both complied and stiffly rose to their feet.

"Before we begin, I'd like to share with you a brief recap of why we are here and how we reached this point. I'm sure that some of this is going to be difficult for both of you to hear, but you must listen carefully and not interrupt." Rising to his feet Wyatt observed similar guarded and fearful expressions staring back at him and once more found himself enthralled by the complexities of the human psyche, here were two people who had such a rare gift, complete and utter devotion to each other, their absolution and peace of mind lay solely with the other and yet they were both so determined to assert their independence they were completely blind to the fact that they were actually totally co-dependant, at least when it came to their emotional well being.

"Although you may not see it yourselves, my dear Doctor Brennan and Agent Booth, you are actually both very similar. You both have an innate sense of justice and you also value truth, honesty and integrity above anything else. You are both professional people who take great pride in your work as well as basing your sense of self worth on your ability to do your jobs effectively. That is why the impact of Agent Booth's betrayal has affected you both so acutely."

As expected, Brennan and Booth opened their mouths to dispute that statement, but Doctor Wyatt raised his hand to stop them before they could protest.

"I know what you're both thinking, it wasn't a betrayal, Agent Booth wasn't responsible for his actions when he assaulted Doctor Brennan, etcetera, etcetera; however, that is exactly how you **are** both feeling. Doctor Brennan, after your traumatic childhood you had withdrawn emotionally from those around you and when you finally placed your faith and trust in your partner and believed him to be a person who would never hurt you or cause you pain, he did exactly that, and all the suffering you experienced earlier in life resurfaced with the added intensity.

"Agent Booth, your betrayal is to yourself, to the person you believed yourself to be. The impact of your betrayal was then intensified by the knowledge that the person you assaulted is the person whose regard you hold in highest esteem. Therefore in order for you to resolve this issue, you must both acknowledge the truth of what actually happened to you and in order to do that you must first acknowledge the depth of feeling you have for each other."

Doctor Wyatt paused to allow time for his words to be processed, the two people in front of him had spent so long denying and resisting their feelings that asking them to recognize and admit them could ultimately fail, especially when you added the fact that they were also both incredibly stubborn and strong willed. However, even if Gordon Wyatt wasn't an expert in his field, he would still recognise what he saw in the eyes of these two people when they looked at each other.

"Agent Booth, Doctor Brennan, please turn and face each other," Doctor Wyatt asked, although it was more of a command than a request.

Booth was the first to turn. Cautiously watching the internal battle Bones was having with herself Booth felt his heart breaking, his Bones was such a proud, brave person, yet here she was struggling just to face him. Unable to bear it any longer, Booth's eyes fell to the floor, fixing his gaze on a small scuff on the tip of his shoe. Eventually turning, Bones glanced at her partner taking in the dejected slump of his usually strong shoulders, he appeared to have shrunk before her and she held back a gasp at the saddening tightening in her throat and chest, quickly looking away.

Reaching forward, Wyatt gently placed a finger under Brennan and Booth's chin, slowly raising their faces until their eyes met and locked.

"Be honest, both with each other and yourselves," he said as he stepped back.

Booth looked into Bones eyes, the usually clear blue now grey and stormy. Out of respect, he had never allowed himself the luxury of truly searching her eyes before but now he didn't hold back. Booth truly believed that entire conversations could take place in the exchange of eye contact and right now he wanted to read everything that Bones was telling him.

He saw the walls, but they were broken, cracked and weak; he saw the pain, raw and exposed and it hurt him so much that he had caused that pain; he saw anger and shame, regret and remorse, but through it all he could still see a faint glimmer of hope, a small spark of belief; hope and belief that Booth would know what to do, how to heal the pain and make things right, just as he always did. Booth made a decision, he had something to tell Bones, something he had always wanted to tell her but had been afraid to, so he opened his heart and told her, not holding anything back in the hope that she would hear him.

Bones didn't want to do this. Looking into someone's eyes and having them look back at her felt like a complete violation. She didn't want her vulnerabilities exposed, especially to Booth. If they were to continue working together, she wanted him to know that she was competent and confident, but right now she felt vulnerable and scared. She built up her walls and turned to face him, but as the warmth of his gaze touched her, she felt her walls start to crumble. His eyes searched hers and she knew he could clearly see what was there, she could see it in his eyes, the fear that she would never truly trust him again and the sorrow and regret he felt. But then everything changed, she saw him stand straighter, his shoulders regaining their proud strength and his eyes………….what were they telling her? What did she see? Booth had often looked at her with affection, but it was always combined with either humour or concern, either during a playful but competitive verbal sparing, or after a particularly traumatic event. Now Booth's eyes held much more than affection, he was looking at her with total adoration, his depth of feeling completely drowning her. He loved her, totally and completely, it was clearer than any words he could have spoken, and suddenly his brown eyes were difficult to see through her flood of tears. It felt as though someone had flicked a switch inside of her, all of the pain, cruel memories, fear and despair were now gone, no one had ever looked at her the way Booth was looking at her now, this was her Booth. He was her protector, her saviour, her strength, and she was his; he needed her, respected her, but most of all, he loved her. So finally, she let go of her defences and returned his declaration with one of her own. Reaching forward Bones felt no fear or hesitation as she raised her hand to gently touch his face, slowly sliding her hand into his hair and pulling him toward her. She saw the joy and relief flash through his eyes as their lips softly brushed together, she felt the warmth of his breath as it mixed with hers and she tasted the salt of her tears as their lips parted. Booth's hands danced at her hip as though unsure where to touch, but his grip tightened at her waist and he pulled her to him before sliding his arms around her and deepening their kiss. The hesitance of moments ago quickly evaporated as months of denial were forgotten and the true intensity of their feelings was shared. Passion swiftly gained the upper hand as Booth's hands tilted Bones head back to gain access to her exposed neck, how long had he wanted to explore the soft creamy skin at her throat, to breathe the soft scent of her hair.

Bones was lost; all coherent thought had left her as soon as Booth's lips had touched hers. Their kiss had been typical of their relationship, passionate and unyielding, tongues and teeth clashing with all the intensity of previous altercations, but the instance Booth's lips had found her throat, her weakness, she totally rescinded her control and trusted in his strength to hold her as her own strength left her, her knees growing weak at the ever increasing desire she was feeling as Booth's lips and teeth nipped and grazed at her neck. Gasping as his tongue found a particularly sensitive spot at the base of her ear, Bones eyes snapped open and reality slammed back into focus.

"Booth stop," she whispered, gently pushing him away but noticing with relief that they were alone, although she had no clue as to when Wyatt had left the room.

"It's ok, he's gone," she reassured Booth, turning to meet brown eyes clouded with both desire and confusion. Bones watched in amusement as Booth's head snapped to the chair that had been occupied just moments before. Ignoring the coil of sexual tension that was spreading through her body, she turned his face to hers and rested her forehead against his.

"I don't think we should be doing this here," she said, not wanting to break the spell but acutely aware of where they were.

Sighing Booth nodded, worried that Bones might think this was a mistake; but she slowly moved until her lips where against his ear and softly whispered the words that melted his heart.

"I love you Seeley Booth," she whispered through her tears.

Closing his eyes, the tension drained from his body as he gently kissed her cheek and replied, "I love you too Temperance Brennan."

* * *

**A/N**

Ok, I have no excuses for the ridiculous wait for this update, let's just say stuff happens.

Anyway, I'm really sorry, truly sorry, I always had every intention of finishing the story, I just lost my way somewhere!

If anyone is still reading, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint, it was excruciatingly difficult to write. I was thinking of doing a short epilogue though, if anyone's interseted???


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